The Sun Sets in the East
by Hela's Hand
Summary: Season 5 ending AU. Merlin knocked out Morgana instead of killing her, and left the island after Arthur's death. He returns after a few years to hunt Morgana down and bring her to Camelot for judgement. When she's captured, he feels a sliver of sympathy for her, but that won't stop him. The past must be paid for.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** – I know someone else had to have gotten this idea, and it's either half finished on their computer or already up. I don't have time to read all the fics so if this idea is already up than I'll gladly take this one down.

It's safe to say that _Merlin_ is not mine, neither are the quotes or whatever is familiar to you. After reading this, you might be glad that _Merlin_ isn't mine. In fact, you'd be thanking whatever you worship that I had nothing to do with _Merlin_ while crying in gratitude.

**Warnings** – It's a Teen, with major hintage of sexual content and mild language. Not for the easily squeamish. Don't worry though, I won't go HBO on you.

The dragon is an Original Character, which I hope won't turn people off (as for his name, yes, yes I am a fan), and so is Galahad. Others are just passing by. OOCness is here as well. People change over the years, sometimes for the better, sometimes not.

There's no major romantic moment, and if you want to see parings you are free to do so. There will be bromance (it's Merlin, it's against the rules to not have it), though I will admit that I won't be able to get the show's level of bromance.

Lots of quotes from Game of Thrones and a weapon, but they're more like Easter Eggs than anything, so don't freak and go: "I gotta do homework?!" Chill, it's alright.

**Info** – Season 5 AU. Everything happened, except the incident with Morgana. She found them, but Merlin knocked her out with a spell and, when he saw Arthur's face, let her live (I know it's flimsy). After Arthur dies, he goes to Camelot to warn Guinevere that Morgana is still alive before leaving overseas. He comes back after a few years with a red dragon. He takes Percival with him to hunt down Morgana, bring her to Camelot, and have the Queen sentence her.

This is **unbetaed**, so all mistakes are mine (Spell check is not a miracle worker). Also, I couldn't concentrate during the final two episodes because of the dirt that made my eyes water, so there might be things I mess up. It is AU, so I'll use that as an excuse (except those who are reading this now know...)

First published Fanfic, so any critics are welcome. Especially the grammar police.

**For those who like listening to music while reading** – _Keep the Streets Empty_ and _If I had a Heart_ by _Fever Ray_; _Lion and Wolf _by _Thrice_; _Heavy in your Arms_ by _Florence and the Machine_; _Cold_ by _Aqualung and Lucy Schwartz; Where Butterflies Never Die _and_ A New Hope _by _Broken Iris _(picked at my normal reading level, though I did repeat some twice. Feel free to repeat what you like!)

Okay, major lengthy beginning over! Get ready to A) Cry at certain parts; 2) Get so confused you don't even review and go read something with more intelligence; or #) Go: "What the hell was that sh – " in 3 – 2 – Banjo!

*** ~ "I will hurt you for this. I don't know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you**

**think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth,**

**and you'll know the debt is paid." – _A_ _Clash of Kings _~ ***

Morgana watched Aithusa fly through the air, hunting for food to eat. She had grown stronger in the last few years of Arthur's death. Her flights were more confidant, her flame stronger, and she learned to work around her lame leg.

She watched her suddenly stop, dive, then appear again with something in her jaws. Morgana smiled as she brought it to the cliff, laying it on the flat surface. The deer was in his death spasm when she went to pet Aithusa, who cooed. Morgana had no doubt that in a few years, they would both be completely healed.

_'And then?' _she suddenly thought.

She tore into the deer as Morgana continued to touch her neck, "I'll take back my birthright, then we'll search again for Emrys." Aithusa looked up at her from her meal, blood dripping from her jaw. She looked sad as she turned back to her meal. "What is wrong, Aithusa?"

She knelt to her as she turned and started to 'talk'. Her noises were slow, and were more growls than words, but she was getting better. Morgana listened hard, mouthing out the sound.

"Gren...ouh...vhe – Guinevere?" Aithusa nodded her head. Morgana thought of the Queen, the woman who was once her servant and friend. Guinevere had changed as well after Arthur's death. She had severed the laws and allowed magic to once again enter the kingdom of Camelot. Morgana, like many others, were skeptic of the news and watched Camelot from afar. But Druids from all over came and laid camps in her lands, and were never harmed. They were even protected by the knights when those came to harm them.

She remembered the day she walked into Camelot, disguised as an old woman, just a few months passed. Children played in the courtyard, a mix of Druids and Camelotians, either throwing magic water balls or wielding enchanted wooden swords. Songs from all over were sung near the market during midday, and, at night, knights used enchanted torches in their patrol.

_'If I could, I would bring Uther back just to see his face,'_ she thought, smiling. She looked to Aithusa, who was eating her meal. "I don't want to hurt Guinevere," she told her, "perhaps now that Arthur is dead, and she has allowed magic to have a home in Camelot, perhaps she will listen to me. She already has a Druid priest on her council. If she could forgive me for what I'd done to her, she might allow me a spot on her council."

Morgana closed her eyes as the dream was birth into her mind. It's been so long since she dreamt of ruling Camelot with Guinevere. Old, childlike feeling burst inside her chest as she saw them gossiping at the dining table, Gwen almost spiting out her drink in laughter at something Morgana said. She opened her eyes and tears spilled out.

"I doubt that will happen, Morgana."

She turn to the familiar voice, sneering at the man a few feet in front of her. She heard Aithusa move behind her, curing around her.

"Back from the dead, Emrys?"

"Did I die?" he asked, "I'm sorry I missed the funeral. Did you arrange it, or Gwen?"

She smirked, "don't worry, Emrys, you'll – !"

She looked down in shock and saw a hand push down something metal on her sleeve. Her vision blinked into darkness, but Aithusa's scream brought her back. She found the world falling down as she looked to her. Time slowed as she watched razor teeth bit into Aithusa's neck, tearing into the defenseless muscle. She spoke a spell and held out her hand.

She found herself looking up to Emrys' face as her vision cleared.

"It worked," he said, looking away from her. "Unbind her." Her vision blurred as two figures came and bent down to her. She felt pressure release on her arms and chest, but something warm stayed on her forearm. "How long till we reach Camelot?"

"At our speed," an unfamiliar voice answered, "one day, but we'd arrive at night."

"What a surprise to bring to the Queen," a younger voice said, "what do you think she'll do?"

Her vision cleared. She saw the night sky. "I have an idea, but I won't spoil it for you, Morgana." Emrys' head came into her view again. She noticed that he had stubble with specks of gray in it, as did his hair. "How are you feeling?"

"What did you do to me?" Morgana asked, picking herself up. Her right arm gave away and she landed hard on her elbow. She hissed at the pain, gritting her teeth.

"I bound your magic. Don't worry, once I take the brace off your magic will come back."

Morgana picked up her arm and looked. Her fingers twitched as pulsating dark veins appeared. She followed the veins as it faded into the metal brace on her wrist. It was silver, plain, and dull. She sat up and turned it around, before trying to take it off. Her vision blurred and blinked again. It was day.

"Should we be worried about her blackouts?" the older voice asked behind her.

"It's just her magic fighting mine. If she stayed awake, her mind and soul would burn out. It should stop..." the voice trailed off as her vision blacked again.

"Mor...Morg...was wrong..."

She opened her eyes and saw a figure walk away, then a slab of metal moving before her vision blacked.

She woke to screeching metal. She started to shiver as the cold soaked into her bones, except for her wrist, which was warmed. Morgana looked down. No veins were showing in her hand, but, when she looked closer, she saw the skin closest to the bracer seemed burned. There was no hole, not even a scratch on the iron bracer, and it was put tightly on her wrist and forearm.

She leaned back and met cold stone. She jerked and looked around her. She knew the room, it was the same room that Uther chained her in when she disobeyed him. There was symbols on the room now, engraved into the walls so elegantly that it couldn't have been etched with a tool.

A chamber pot was in the corner, and a small table with a pitcher and cup near the door. Her mouth seemed to dry at the sight of it, and she started walking to it. The door opened and she jerked upright. It was Emrys, wearing black and red leather armor, with chain mail made in the shape of scales.

"Come to kill me, Emrys?"

He walked further into the room, the door closing behind him. "I've brought you your meal. You've not eaten in the last five days, you must be feeling a bit peckish."

He took the plate he was holding, a rather large one, and brought it to the table. He laid it down and picked up the pitcher and glass. He filled it and held the glass to her. She didn't move. He looked down, shaking his head and smiling.

"If I wanted you dead, your corpse would be fertilizing the ground." He put down the pitcher. She backed up as she saw stairs growing from the stones. He took the plate and laid it on the floor, sitting down on the slowing stairs. "I've learn lots of spells while I was away, Morgana. But enough about me, come and eat. Nothing's poisoned," he said, taking a sip of the water. "See?"

Morgana felt uneasy about his smile. It did not reach his eyes. "You've changed."

"Time changes us all. From ward to High Priestess, manservant to King."

"King?! King of what?"

His smile faded, "I thought we agreed to not talk about me."

"I agreed to nothing," she sneered at Emrys, "how did you become king?" He stared at her, before standing up. He didn't move towards her, but the door. He told the guard to open it, "running away, Emrys?"

"I'll not talk about my past while I'm this sober," he told her, then to the guard, "have a servant bring us wine, quickly."

"Yes, your grace." With those words, the door closed again.

" Your grace," Emrys repeated, then said to himself, "I should kill Galahad for ever saying that."

He continued to stare at the wall, completely ignoring her. The smell of the cooked meat grabbed her attention and she found herself looking at the plate in longing. Hunger took over her caution and she went to the plate, knelt down, and began devouring the food. Through the haze, she recognize the seasoning on the meat. It was what Gwen would make her whenever she was upset._ 'Exactly the same.'_

The door screeched again and she moved away from the plate, holding a strip in her hand. A servant came into the room with another pitcher, a young girl with a Pendragon crest on her chest.

"Just give it to me," he told her, "you can go back to your queen."

The little girl gave him the pitcher and glasses, bowing to him. "Your grace," she said, then walked out.

"Really going to kill that child priest," he said mumbled while walking back to the table. He put both glasses down and filled them, then put the wine pitcher next to the water one. He held one glass out to her, drinking from the other, not looking at her. She hesitated, "I'm not thirsty."

"I didn't offer you water," he stated. "Your voice is rather hoarse, did you know that?"

She looked at the glass again, then took it. He took the wine pitcher and sat while drinking, filling up the glass again when he was down. She waited, watching as he kept his gaze to the wall and taking a drink. "Well?" she finally asked.

He turned to her, "well?"

Morgana glared at him, "who gave you a crown?"

Emrys looked at her, gulping down his drink. He moved the cup away from his lips, "no one gave me the crown, I took it."

He refilled it while she stared. The words sounded foreign, coming from him.

"Finally showing yourself, Emrys."

He gave a short laugh, "Emrys. The immortal. A Bringer of Albion. They never tell you how to bring peace, and what it takes to keep it. Some say it's honor, some say fear and blood. But do you know what it all leads to? What it really takes to have peace?" He turned to her, a mad look flashed through his eyes. "You going to guess?"

She flinched back as the wine from his glass splashed over the edge, "a mixture of both."

His eyes flickered again, "lying. You must lie. The lowest peasant to the Lords to the surrounding Kings must never know your weaknesses or your strengths. They must think you an unbreakable demigod that has no faults and can never be beaten in battle. You must be shrouded in a web lies, and whoever knows the truth must be paid, scared into silence, or killed."

Morgana watched as he looked away from her and poured more wine. Her gaze flickered to the door, then back to him. She heard the strip of meat hit the stone floor and backed slowly from his gaze.

There was that smile again, "who would believe you, Morgana? Besides, your sentence is soon. It would be a waste." He went back to his drink. He seemed to be more relaxed now, his eyes slightly red. But his speech did not slur, "I'm surprised at you, Morgana. Not once did you ask about Aithusa."

Razor sharp teeth flashed through her mind, "you killed her!"

He looked away from her, "not by my hands, no. We are even now, we both had others take what we loved – "

The sound of the bells drowned out his words. He downed the rest of the cup and stood up. "You have a short time to yourself before I come back."

Then he went to the door and called out. As the door opened, he turned to her once more, "I am sorry for what I've done to you."

Then he was gone.

*** ~ "Falling is a lot like flying except there's a more permanent destination." – BBC Sherlock ~ ***

The courtyard was filled with hundreds of angry people thirty for her blood. On the platform, she could see the main street chocked with a hundred more. They hanged from the windows and stood on the roofs, any place they could find to see her.

"Witch!"

"She – Devil!"

"Burn in the pits of Hell!"

"Kingslayer!"

"Kinslayer!"

Something cold and wet splashed on her cheek hard enough to turn her head. It was rancid and slid down her cheek.

"KINSLAYER!"

Something hard hit her spine, it's uneven surface dug into her clothed back.

"_**KINSLAYER!"**_

More objects were thrown at her, some soft, but most were hard. Something scraped the gag she was wearing, and something else hit her on the nose.

"**Enough!" **The throwing ceased. She took a breathe through her nose. It stung. "I know the pain that your going through, believe me, I do. But it is no excuse to savagely beat someone that is defenseless."

_'Guinevere.'_

"She killed my son!" a voice in the crowd cried out.

"And she will be punished," Guinevere said over the raised voices. "But we will not torture her. We will not sink to her level." The crowd grew silent. "Geoffrey, the charges."

Morgana tried to turn to the balcony, but the chains held her in place.

"Morgana Pendragon," an elderly voice began. "You are charged with the crime of using blood magic and necromancy, not for the purpose of religious reasons, but to commit treason. You are charged with King Uther Pendragon's death, your father, and helping the murderer Mordred to kill the late King Arthur Pendragon, your brother..."

She blocked the man's words out as she turned her head more. She saw Gwen, dressed in a fine silk dress. It was mostly white, with red and gold used as embroidery. To her right were two knight, Sir Leon, and another that was vaguely familiar. A young boy of thirteen was by the large one's side, meeting her eye and gazing at her with sympathy.

To Gwen's left was Emrys, dressed in black robes with red trimmings. _'He's dripping with blood,'_ she thought. Next to Emrys was the Druid priest, and next to him, the elderly man reading her charges. The elderly man stopped moving his lips and rolled up the paper.

"She should at least have her say," Guinevere commented softly. Morgana met her eye and found her face carefully masked.

"My Queen," Emrys began, loud enough for everyone to hear but quiet enough to be mistaken for him talking to the Queen in secret, "you have a good heart, but the witch's voice is wicked. Should she speak, I fear that all would fall under her spell." _'You know I have no power.'_ Emrys met her gaze, it was carefully masked too. "Even as I look at her, I feel sympathy for her rise within me."

The crowd started to mummer to itself and when she looked, all averted her gaze. _'He lies, he sealed my_ _power!'_ Her cries were muffled. She tried to work off the gag on her mouth, but it was bound tight. She turned her head back to the balcony. None met her eye but the young boy, who showed her his true feelings for a moment before placing a mask. _'What do you know?'_

"Then I have no choice," Guinevere began softly, then stronger, "Though I saw you as my sister, it is clear that you have not seen me the same way. Sir John, take off her head."

The crowds roar was deafening. All cheered as hands pushed her down and made her kneel.

"**Wait!"**

The hands stopped with the crowd.

"Merlin?" Guinevere asked. "Why did you order them to stop?"

The crowd started to whisper, staring up in confusion and doubt.

"I wish for her head too, my Queen," Emrys said over the voices. Morgana turned her head to look at him, "however, she is a High Priestess. As I am sure Bors will tell you, High Priestess are invulnerable to mortal blades."

She could feel the crowd shift their gaze to the Druid Priest, who, in a single moment, meet all of their gaze as if they were all equal in his eyes before turning to the Queen. "I'm afraid it is true, my Queen. Sir John's blade, though sharp, would not so much as scratch her skin."

Guinevere seemed to ponder. The crowd waited patiently, all whispering to themselves.

"Perhaps they will burn her?"

"They may drown her."

"I think they'll hang her."

"Maybe they'll lock her up somewhere?"

"Maybe they'll have Merlin's dragon eat her?"

_'Dragon?'_

"My Queen, if I may make a suggestion?"

Some that heard Emrys' voice started telling the others to be silent.

"Of course, speak your mind."

The crowd seemed to hold their breath. Emrys smiled at Guinevere, "you have a kind heart, Gwen. I can see in your eyes that you do not wish to cause her anymore harm than what your bounds are doing. I will offer you this." Emrys waved upward, pointing to something. Morgana turned her head the other way.

_'Emrys' dragon...'_

"My dragon, Rache, is but two years old and, although he looks rather large, cannot yet breath fire."

The dragon was curled on one of the towers, looking down at the crowd. He raised his head at his name, then bowed it, as if he was sorry.

"If you could wait a few years, he would be able to make a stable flame, strong enough to forge a sword."

"You would have me burn her?" Guinevere asked so softly Morgana had to strain to hear her.

"Burn the Witch!"

"Burn her!"

"**BURN THE WITCH!"**

Emrys held his hand up, **"please, let me finish!"** The crowd slowly stopped their chanting. He looked back to Guinevere, speaking in that low voice again, "I would never asked that of you, Gwen. I merely suggested that when my dragon can sustain a flame, I would forge a sword in that fire and give it to you to carry out your sentence."

"But to wait years, Merlin?" the Druid priest asked quietly. "If we put her in a prison, she would only escape."

"She has a dragon!" someone cried out in the audience.

The crowd started to panic, many looking up at the sky.

"**Her dragon is dead!"** Emrys announced over the voices.

"**How?!"**

"I was preoccupied with Percival in capturing the High Priestess, but Galahad saw it all."

She turned the other way to stare at the young boy as he moved and gripped the railings, "it was a spectacle. White and red met up in the sky and clashed with enough force to deafen my ears, the two dragons snapping and biting at each others throats. Rache could only claw as the white dragon breathed fire on him, seeming to blind him, and clawed his soft underbelly. However, when I thought that Rache would lose, he managed to pin her to the mountain's side and tear off the beast's head."

_'He lies,'_ she thought as the crowd breathed as one in relief and rejoiced. _'All of them are liars.'_

"As for a prison," Emrys said over the voices while staring at Guinevere, "if you would give the witch to me, I could leave her in a place that even a God couldn't find a way out of."

"There is such a place?" Guinevere asked.

"I found it in my travels. It's a null place, build by ancients to prison their most powerful enemies."

"She will not be harmed?"

"No, my Queen, she will not be harmed."

Guinevere looked away from him, a thoughtful look on her face. The crowd already made up their mind.

"**Take the Witch!"**

"Bring her far from here Merlin!"

"**Take Her!"**

Guinevere met her eyes again, her own clouded. "Are you sure it will hold her?"

"More than sure, Gwen."

"Do you need to prepare?"

"I could bring her now, if that is your wish."

"Then do so." Guinevere looked away from her.

"Sir John, bring her to the gate!"

The crowd cheered as they left the balcony, the young boy sparing only a glance. Her chains were unlocked from the podium and used in leading her down the stairs. The crowd created a path for them, though were still close enough for her to feel them. All held hatred in their eyes, the thirst for blood quenched for a while.

_'Most of them,'_ she thought as her gaze caught a woman who looked like she was going to claw out Morgana's eyes.

The juices started to itch as she was led outside the gate, where the dragon laid and watched her pass. The sun reflected off his scales and made him seem almost golden in color, his uncurling tail seemed to be on fire. Something moved down her face and she moved her head down. The fruit splattered on the ground. She picked up her head and hissed as the juice fell into one of her eyes.

"Beautiful, isn't he?" the young voice mused next to her. "He appears golden in color, but when he moves you can see the flickers of his crimson scales. A beautiful, magnificent creature we would do well to fear."

Morgana looked at him, forgetting her eye, then around. Emrys was talking to the one holding her chain, while Guinevere and her knights were near the gathering crowd. She looked back to the young boy, _'what are you warning me about?'_

He gave no indication that he read her face, "you should see what flame he can sustain. It appears red, almost the same color as his scales. The strange thing, however, is how silent it is. This whole forest could be set aflame, yet there would be no sound."

_'Except the screams of the victims,'_ she saw on his flicker. _'Is that my sentence?'_

The young boy glanced over to Emrys before looking at the dragon again, "many think him an unthinking beast with no mind, and doubt his abilities. They all bow to him, however, in the end." He looked back to her, stepping closer. A mournful mask was placed, and he whispered, "his heart is still healing. Don't do anything to distraught him, or you will suffer a fate far worse than what you are going to."

Then the young boy was gone, brushing against her lightly. Emrys glanced over, looking at the young boy, then her. She stared at him with a blank face. He started to walk over to her.

"Merlin?" the large knight from before asked.

Emrys tilted his head to him, then looked, "yes, Percival?"

"Can I have a word?"

Emrys smiled, "if it won't take all day, then of course." He moved next to her. The large knight looked at her before joining him. "What is on your mind? Don't take long, I doubt the crowd will be content with Gwen for much longer."

They both looked at the Queen simultaneously, then back at each other. The large knight spared her a glance before whispering to Emrys, "during these last few months, I hoped that you have begun to trust me more – "

"You don't think I trust you?" Emrys said with a humorous smirk. "Is that all? Silly knight, of course I trust you. Your one of the few I can."

She looked to the large knight, whose eyes held sorrow for a moment, "and yet you continue to suffer alone."

Emrys' face fell in an instant, hollow eyes moving to Morgana while his body stiffened. It was gone in an instant, and Emrys smiled that empty smile at the knight, "how about we continue this conversation another time?"

He made to move but the knight gripped his shoulder, "I know what you mean to do. I have seem men with the same fire in their eyes, and they all fell, one way or the other. I won't stand by and watch another one of my friends do the same."

_'He's going to break,'_ Morgana thought as Emrys looked at neither of them, feeling the hair at the back of her neck rise. But he didn't. He looked at the ground and laughed softly, a nostalgia look in his eyes.

"That's what you fear," he said mostly to himself. He looked back to the knight, the nostalgia look still in his eyes. "You shouldn't worry about me so much, you have a squire to look after. Look, here comes our Queen."

Guinevere walked over with her hands together, her head held high. Her face was stone, "I wish to speak to her, alone."

The larger knight left with a bow, but Emrys stayed, "Gwen, I don't think this is wise."

"Please, Merlin."

They stared at each other, before he bowed, "my Queen."

Guinevere watched him go with a sad look in her eyes, before she turned to Morgana. She stared at her for a moment, before putting a hand in one of her sleeves. Morgana leaned back as she pulled out something. It was a cloth. Guinevere put it in her other hand and called for the one holding her chain.

"Your water skin, Sir John." The knight gave it to her. "Has some got in your eye?" she asked her.

Morgana stared before nodding. Gwen took the water skin, held her eye open, and poured some of the water in it. The sting was gone instantly. Gwen dampened the cloth and began wiping her face and neck. "I try to understand why you've done what you've done," Gwen said as she took bits of food out of her hair, "and each time I did, I felt a burning rage inside my chest that threatens to consume me. I understand, wanting Uther dead, and, after what Merlin told me, I can understand killing him too."

_'He told you,'_ she thought as Gwen looked back at her face.

"Arthur would have accepted you back," she told her. "I saw it in his face whenever your name was mentions, how much it pained him to ride out with knights bent on bringing him your head. After I heard of his death, and Merlin told me you were alive, I waited for you to show yourself so I could take my blade to kill you myself.

But months after Arthur's death, the fires turned to cinder, and I called off any searches for you. I don't want you dead, Morgana, and, when Merlin returned, I wanted to deter his search for you. But the thought of seeing you again stopped my voice, and now you are sentenced to die.

If, after Merlin's dragon can breathe flame, if you no longer wish for the throne, and you wish to come back, I'll be waiting. Camelot may not give you another chance, but I will."

Morgana watched her go, her body and mind numb. She felt the ground rumble, then someone move her body. She looked to see the dragon laying flat on the ground, his golden horns glowing.

"Try not to squirm," Emrys told her as she was placed on the dragon. He climbed behind her and held her by her waist as the dragon took flight. Morgana snapped out of her stupor and reached for something to hold as he climbed in the air. Then he was moving forward.

The water on her face instantly seemed to freeze as the fall wind struck her face. She looked down as the forest turned into a blur of green and red. She saw flocks of birds veer from them and fly in different directions, with only a few daring to fly near them. They fell behind once the dragon beat his wings to gain speed.

_'He's playing with them,'_ she thought as she saw the amusement in his eyes when he moved his head to watch a smaller, common bird come close to his head.

"He's a year and a half old," Emrys told her. She looked away from the bird, glaring at him before looking ahead. She heard him sigh, then felt the gag on her mouth lessen and come off. She turned to watch him throw it away, "I would of done it sooner, but I only get so many chances at silence."

She stared at him, then turned to the dragon, "I thought all dragons were destroyed."

"All those here, yes, but you'd be surprise what exists beyond this island."

She looked at him again, "that's why you killed Aithusa, to make yours the superior one."

Emrys dug his nails in her stomach, glaring at her. "I told you, it was because your 'son' killed Arthur that I took her life."

"That's only half the reason."

Morgana broke their eye contact, looking at the dragon.

"Not another word, Rache."

"You mean to let her suffer the rest of her life in the Dead Woods," the dragon turned his head to look at them, "why not tell her the truth?"

"I don't mean for her to suffer," Emrys argued.

"No, not to suffer," the dragon agreed. "But it would be kinder to end her life."

"Arthur would want to see her redeemed, so I am offering her that choice."

"Unwillingly."

Emrys said nothing for the rest of the day, not when she uncurled his fingers on her stomach, and not when she asked him how long they would fly. She watched as the land beneath them turned to water, then to land again.

When the stars started to appear, Emrys patted the dragon's side. He landed next to a black lake, their reflection almost perfect in the still waters. The dragon laid on his belly while Emrys slid off, holding his arms out to help her.

Morgana paused. The young boy's voice appeared in her head, _' "Don't do anything to distraught him, or you will suffer a fate far worse than what you are going to." '_

She let him help her down. He looked at the chains on her hands and took them off. The iron bracer stayed. He held up a wine skin, she didn't take it. He shrugged, then placed his hand on her head. His eyes flashed gold in the darkness.

She woke to the sound of birds chirping. She stood up and looked around. There was a large hole in the ground with claw marks.

"He likes the ground." She turned to Emrys, who put the branches he was holding down and started to stack them. "Reminds him of his egg, he said. Go do your business, the food will be done by the time you come back."

He ignored her then. Morgana watched him for a moment before walking away. The muscles in her legs yearned to be stretched. The farther she walked, a growing urge to run rose within her, but the sound of beating wings above her slowed her stride.

As promised, the food was done when she came back. Emrys was gone, but the dragon landed before she could think. They stared at each other.

"You are not hungry, Priestess?" he asked. "And no, the food is not poisoned."

"And I am suppose to trust the word of a murderer?"

"Says the woman who murdered her own kind for information," the dragon said. "Your hands have more innocent blood on them than my claws." The dragon curled in his hole, completely relaxed. "You are weak from hunger, hollow one. Eat to regain your strength."

Morgana looked over to the plate laid out for her, the dragon's words from earlier replayed in her head. She heard the dragon sigh. Chirping birds covered their silence.

"He is not picky with how the food fills your belly," the dragon said after a while, "he will force it down your throat if you don't eat."

The thought made her shiver. She took the plate and sat far away. She ate in silence, wondering where Emrys was. Her eyes moved to the dragon, who had his eyes closed. "Where did he find you?" she found herself asking through her food.

The dragon opened his molten eyes and looked at her, "my egg was with a priest in a land west of here."

"And where is here?"

The dragon said nothing, blinking at her.

"Here you go," Emrys voice said from her left. She turned to find him carrying a large deer, which he dropped in from of the dragon. The dragon looked at the stag, reared his head, and breathed flame on it. He stopped when it was almost black. "I swear," Emrys said when he tore into the meat, "when will you stop eating so much?"

The dragon looked up and glared.

"He can breathe fire..."

Emrys looked at her and smiled, "has been for a few months." She watched as he pulled out his sword, a black steel blade that shined brilliantly. "I had him help me forge this sword when he could. It took about three days, and, as you can see, the magic changed the color of it rather drastically." He tilted it, and she saw the crimson streaks, "some began to call it 'the mourner with bloody tears.' It's too much of a mouthful, if you ask me. I should get to naming it, someday." He put the blade away, "you done eating then?"

She looked down at her half eaten plate. She heard Emrys begin to walk towards her.

"Let her finish," the dragon said. "She has a long way to walk."

Morgana stood up and he stopped, "I've seen men fight with less." Emrys turned and began walking. She looked at the dragon before she put down her plate and followed.

They didn't talk, not even when they passed other travelers. She took note of their short stature and rough accented voices. "Where are we?" she asked him after they were long gone.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm curious."

He gave a short chuckle, "of course you are."

He said nothing after that. The road was getting harder to walk on, and she kept tripping and having to step over fallen branches and vines.

Emrys suddenly stopped, tilting his head. She watched him as he touched the frost covered trees, tearing the bark off of one. He took off his glove and scratched with his nail on the softer bark, looking what was on his finger and tasting it.

"We're almost there," he told her while walking.

Morgana followed, looking at the exposed bark as she passed. It was red, seeping with golden sap.

He stopped again and looked around. He then walked behind a tree, arm curing around the trunk to stabilize his footing. She followed, then stared at the empty space. She looked down, there was no footprints on the ground. She then looked up, the tree was bare. She turned to walk down the path she was walking. Their footprints was gone, and the trees were different. Morgana turned around to find the same happened behind her.

"Emrys," she called out.

Her voice echoed in the silent woods. No creatures were near, and the very wind seemed to be still. Her breathe seemed to freeze in the air.

"Emrys!"

Nothing stirred. She stood for a long time, waiting for something to appear. When nothing did, she tried to remember what direction she walked from. Nothing was familiar, so she picked a direction and walked.

Many seasons passed before her eyes as she walked and slept. Food and drink would appear near her head, and on the ground where she walked. She tried to find whoever was leaving it, but all her tries left her empty handed.

The forest was beyond quiet, not even her footfalls made any noise. She tore a branch off a tree once, and broke it into pieces. Not a sound.

The only sound was her voice and thoughts. Many voices would speak in her head; the young boy, Mordred, Emrys, Gwen, Arthur. She would pushed them far from her mind, but would regret it soon after as the silence from the forest seemed to close in around her.

Morgana found herself sitting down a few times, letting the voices and memories take over. She would then open her eyes and find herself staring at a different season, food and drink by her feet. Consistently, she would find a change of clothes and soap by any waterfall or river she stumbled across.

_'Emrys could have picked a worse punishment,'_ Morgana thought after the third river she came across. By the sixth, she gave up trying to find the ones leaving the items for her. By the ninth, she was looking for fish, birds, and insects. By the eighteenth, she was cursing at the item givers and ignoring them. By the twenty – fourth, she was trying every trick she could think of to have them show themselves.

By fifty – three, she was climbing mountains and looking for any sign of life. Hundred – eighty two, she cried for Gwen. Three hundred and eight she was begging for Emrys to come back. One thousand and ninety – nine she fell off a mountain, waking on the ground with phantom pains.

The eighth after she lost count at two thousand, she was curled at the pool, wanting her brother. She couldn't remember his face, name, or his voice, only his words and the color gold remained. Memories were blurred in her mind, a mesh of nothing. She remembered his gaze, but his eyes were gone. His gaze was either kind or sad, but mostly sad. She brought a hand to her shoulder, trying to pretend it was him holding her.

_'Your son killed – '_

It was another set of words that lost their voice. Her brother's words usually spoke with annoyance at those words, but they were spoken with love, not hate. Not like those words would speak to her with. She wouldn't be surprised if the words spoke to her and intentionally left out her brother's name. She didn't know her son's name either, but she knew that he was dead too. Everyone she cared about was dead.

Except one. Gentle words that spoke with the softness of rain in summer. The gentle words were once married to her brother, and she tried to kill the gentle words, then she turned her to her side. She wished the gentle words were with her. She could hold her, unlike her dead brother.

At the eighteenth, she thought back to the faint phantom memories. At the nineteenth, she wanted a chance to be with her brother.

At the Twentieth, she stared in shock. Then she smiled, running into the golden man's arms.

*** ~ **"**Love is poison. A sweet poison, yes, but it will kill you all the same." – _A Clash of Kings _~ ***

Merlin made his way out of Lady Telesa's room, feeling her dazed gaze on him. George had a hot bath made for him, steam falling from it in waves. He didn't argue with the servant as he helped take off his clothes and washed him. He came out of the bath red and her scent washed off him.

"Lord Edward is in his room," George told him while helping him put on his clothes, "reviewing his papers, your grace." Merlin closed his eyes, sighing. He felt his cloak being put on his shoulders and opened his eyes, "Sir Percival arrived while you were gone. I told him to come back near midnight."

"Good," he said. George stepped away and he left through the hidden passageway, pulling the hood up and covered his face. His strides became shorter, more effeminate, and he kept his head down. He felt his magic move in his throat, an uncomfortable sensation that made him bite his lip._ 'Don't let_ _him be like Lady Telesa,'_ he thought as the guard knocked on Lord Edward's door. Of course, he didn't get what he wanted, and he sank into the second scorching bath George provided for him slowly.

"Your potion, your grace."

Merlin took the bottle and drowned it. He gave the bottle back and let George wash him again, his mind in a numbing haze.

"Your grace," George began, helping him out of the bath. "If I may be so bold to ask...?"

Merlin looked at him, blinking a few times. "You may."

"Not that I believe you weak, your grace," he said while drying him. "Far from it. However, should you desire a break, from your..." George paused in speaking, looking away from him entirely for a moment, " 'negotiations', I would gladly take your place."

He stared at his servant, who started picking up his nightgown. Merlin took it, "I told you before, this is one thing you can't help me with."

He put on the gown, feeling George's hands helping him. "Your grace," he said, bowing to him. Merlin went to lay in his bed, listening to his servant work.

It was some time before he heard his servant walk towards him. He opened his eyes and saw a glass in his hand. "Your grace," he said, holding it to him. He sat up and took it. He felt George moved the pillows so he could lean back in comfort. He also noticed that he didn't leave a pitcher behind.

_'A good servant knows his lord,'_ he thought. Merlin took a large gulp of the red wine.

At midnight, there was a knock at his door. George answered it, then let the knights in. "Sir Percival, Galahad."

"My king," Sir Percival said with a short bow.

"Your grace," Galahad said with a deep bow.

He got off the bed and motioned for them to sit at the table George put out. They all sat and George gave them glasses filled with wine. "I hope this will be a pleasant night meeting."

"Yes and no, I'm afraid."

He looked at Galahad, "well, start with the bad."

"King Lot was murdered," Percival said.

Merlin closed his eyes with a sigh, "by who?"

"The new king," Galahad answered. "Cassius."

He gripped his cup, "the Saxons went back on their treaty?"

"No," Percival told him, "the Saxons have started praising their admiration to you."

"They are forming a large kingdom in the East," Galahad added. "They hold your red dragon over their white field."

"Getting comfy with the Angles?" Merlin asked. "Interesting. What about this self proclaimed King Cassius?"

"An exiled Roman," Percival answered, "he took those that were loyal to him and invaded Lot's land, taking it for his own."

Merlin took a drink, the numbness in his body mixing with the drink. "How loyal do you think the Saxons are to me?"

"Enough to not invade."

Merlin nodded, "I'll visit them soon, and I'll have their help overthrowing this exiled king. If I offer the lands, they might have better mind for me."

"Is that wise?" Galahad asked.

"They will still answer to Camelot," Merlin said, "they'll just have more land to put their people. The coast must be cramped." He took another sip, "what's the good news?"

"Guinevere has found an heir."

"Who?"

"She wants to tell you personally," Percival answered.

"She has told you three, though."

"Just Leon and Percival," Galahad answered with no animosity. "I am just a squire."

George came up to him before he could comment, "your grace, there is a fae here."

Merlin put his glass down while the others tensed. He saw the golden armored soldier walk up to him, looking annoyed at being called a fae. "Gabriel, I hope you haven't brought news that would ruin my spirits."

"You might see it that way, Ambrosius. Purgatory have released Morgan Le Fay, and she is in Britannia."

He didn't feel the glass leave his hand, but he was dimly aware of George catching it before it fell. He stood up, "how did she escape?"

The soldier looked at him like he was a child, "there is no escaping Purgatory, Ambrosius."

"She had to have found a way out," he argued. "How did she get back here?"

"We brought her here."

Merlin gripped the table, the numbness leaving his body completely. "I must have soap in my ears, I thought I heard you say that you were idiotic enough to let that High Priestess back into Albion."

"It is not Albion yet, Ambrosius," the soldier said, his eyes flashing to molten amber. "There was no need to keep her, so we brought her back to your lands."

He dug into the table, "where did you leave the witch?"

The soldier stared at him unblinkingly, "do not let it cloud your mind, Ambrosius."

He felt the table break underneath his fist.** "Where?!"**

The soldier didn't so much as flinch. Merlin felt his fist throb in pain, he clenched his teeth. The soldier took his hand and the pain stopped. "Your love for the Once and Future king is admirable," he said, "but you do not have to worry. Morgan Le Fay holds no more blind anger in her heart. She will not harm her brother's inevitable return."

"I don't believe that for a moment," he said. "Did you bring her close to Avalon?"

The solder's eyes burned into his, "she will cause no harm to your king."

"You're out of your damn mind!"

The soldier's eyes flashed amber again. He brought a hand up to Merlin's head, "do not let it cloud your mind, Ambrosius."

When Merlin opened his eyes, the sunlight was pink. "Where's Gabriel?"

"He left after putting you in bed," George's voice came from far away. "Here, your grace."

A cup was brought to him, he took a drink before spitting it back out. "I don't want water, bring me wine."

George, surprisingly, held his ground, "you've had enough wine already, your grace."

He looked at him in mild shock before drinking the water. He got up, relieved himself, then turned to George, "go ready my horse."

"It's being done as we speak, your grace," George said, his voice back to it's regular brown nose tone. He brought his leather armor to him and started helping him put it on. "I have also gotten your supplies ready and have checked your armor for any damages. I have also polished your sword and sharpened your knives."

He snorted, "why do I ever doubt your abilities?"

"It's my duty, your grace." George said nothing else, but he almost blinded Merlin with his glowing pride.

He strapped on his sword as George put on his knives, "I swear, you would be taken within hours if you were a woman."

"I would still be by your side, your grace."

He felt his heart clenched at the familiar words, "stay here and keep a subtle eye on things."

"Yes, your grace."

He was gone in moments, only thinking for a moment if he should call Rache. _'I involved him enough_ _already, this is my fight.'_

It took a few days to reach Avalon, the mist reaching far into the lands. He got off his exhausted horse and let him graze around. He looked for any sign of life, but the fog was beyond thick. He heard the splashing of water, and waited.

Freya was as beautiful as ever, though her form seemed to quiver when he walked closer to her. She looked at him with blank eyes, before recognition filled them.

"What's happening to you?" he asked, wanting to touch her, but not daring.

She smiled softly, "I am becoming one with the waters of the world. Soon, I will be nothing more than a voice in the waves."

Merlin felt his throat clenched. Freya brought her hand up to touch his face, but her fingers down to her arm turned to water the moment they connected. He stepped back as her smile fell. They stared at each other for a long time.

He swallowed, "did Morgana come here?"

Freya's eyes turned blank again, "the High Priestess is on the island right now, by the Once and Future king's side."

Merlin felt his blood run cold. He started to move past her, but she blocked his way. They stared at each other again. "Let me through."

"I can't Merlin," she said with emotion in her voice. "The island is sacred – "

"And you let Morgana through."

"Morgana is a high priestess of the Old Religion," she said, "I could not stop her from entering the island."

"But you'll stop me?"

"Avalon is an island of healing," she argued, "you are a warlock dedicated to let your enemies die screaming."

Merlin flinched and looked away, "it's not like that."

"You had your dragon burn King Caleb's city to the ground when he didn't sign the treaty with Camelot."

"I had no choice!" he told her through a tight throat, "he would have sent hundreds of soldiers to pillage and destroy our lands!"

"And that justifies the murder all the men, women, and children that had no say in what their king does?" Freya asked, trying to grab his eye.

"War has casualties," he said with a tight chest.

"How many will it take for you to unite this island, a few hundred more soldiers and civilians?"

Merlin took a deep breath, then looked at her. Her eyes pleaded at him over the waves. "Thousands, if it comes to that," he told her. "They will learn to bend their knees, or I will destroy them."

"Merlin..."

He pushed past her, her form dissolved into droplets. He froze the water and walked across, sliding slightly on the surface.

When he touched on the island, the fog cleared immediately. He glanced at the beauty before walking to the center. Morgana was there, hovering over his body. She turned to him, her face betrayed nothing, "hello Emrys."

He gripped his sword, putting a pleasant smile on his face, "Morgana. What are you doing?"

She stood straighter, "I am healing his wound. It wouldn't do to have him come back and die again from the gaping hole."

He gave a short laugh, "is that so?" He walked forward, watching her move away with a wave of her hand, motioning for him to see for himself. He stared at her before looking down.

He caught himself looking at his stiff face and jerked his head down. His armor was off, laid neatly in a stack off to the side. His skin was pale, with not a tint of blue. Merlin almost thought he was sleeping if not for his still chest.

The wound was disgusting, with purple bruises and black veins near it. It smelt of rotten meat and pus. _'It smells like death.'_ He straightened his back, his eyes glancing at Arthur's face once more. He felt some tears fall down his face from the smell and he turned away.

"So, why the sudden change of heart?" Merlin asked through a closed throat.

"I had time to think in that prison," she said.

"Think?"

"There was nothing else there."

He gave a short laugh, "what did you think about? The perfect revenge on your brother, or me? Or do you mean to do both? Having your brother's corpse be a puppet of yours would serve you quite nicely there."

Morgana shook her head at him, "I only wise to heal my brother."

Merlin snorted, motioning with his head to him. "Kind of late for that. In case you haven't notice, his heart stopped a long time _ago_." He cleared his throat. "Besides, last you saw of each other, you've seen pretty keen on having his head on a spike and watching your pet crows eat out his eyes."

Morgana looked away from him, "I did, but not anymore."

"Did your crows die of hunger?"

She looked at him again, a somber look on her face. "I forgave."

He laughed, bringing his hand off his sword and brought it to his head. "Forgave," he managed to say. He put his hand down to lean of the slab, his fingers brushing against something cold. He curled his fingers into a fist before they could reach out. "So you forgave everybody?"

Morgana nodded.

"You forgave your brother?"

She glanced at him, "yes."

"Gwen?"

"Of course."

Merlin smiled, "even me?"

She stared hard at him, "yes. After I knew what you went through."

He felt his smile start to fall, "out of curiosity, how did you find out?"

Morgana looked away from him and motion around them, "Avalon."

"Yes, that's the name of the island." Her face wrinkled, he smiled with a shaking jaw. "So the island showed you how hard it was to kill you the first time."

"And it showed me the time you saved me, though it was for Arthur's sake that you did." His smile fell again as she looked at him, "you did a lot for Arthur's sake."

"I don't know why," he said, "he was a clotpole."

"You love him."

"_Merlin!"_

He froze. He started to turn his head. He brought his hand back to his sword and gripped it to control his shaking. "This island showed you quite a lot," he said, "tell me, did Gwaine really drink more then half of the tavern's ale on Elyan's bet?

"I know why you killed Aithusa," she said with a sad tone. "Magic was beginning to twist, turning into something far darker and uncontrollable. In a thousand years, it would kill itself off, and no magic would be in the world but you, Aithusa, and Avalon. And none would awaken even after Arthur rises."

"You saw him?" he asked with a wavering tone. "When will he wake up?"

Morgana turned her head, as if listening to someone speak. "I cannot tell you. But he will awaken, just not for a long time."

"Can't, or won't?" he asked, then said before she could answer, "what are you going to do after you heal him, I'm curious."

He looked at her, watching her face melt into a mix of emotions. After a moment, she looked at him, "I will watch over him, and heal those who need healing."

He had to grip the slab again to keep from falling over with laughter. "You," he said with a sneer after he caught his breath "a healer? Who would trust you to heal them and not feed them to the wolves, laughing while they scream for mercy?"

She said nothing, but looked away with an expression he couldn't identify. He curled his fingers around something cold. Merlin looked down and saw his hand was over the king's. Something seized his heart as he remembered the last time he held his hand and he quickly let go. The king's hand moved, then was still. He felt a lump lodge in his throat.

"_Don't be a girl, Merlin."_

He paused, tilting his head. He felt himself smile, "well done, Morgana." He turned to the witch, who stared at him confused. "Well done indeed. Using his voice to try to break me, it's a nice touch from your usual flare."

Morgana's eyes flashed. She slowly brought her hands together, "I've done nothing."

He ignored her words, "the perfect revenge, really. With my mind gone, Gwen will have no protector from your magic...what happened to your brace?"

Morgana rubbed her hand over the burnt scab, "it came off once I came onto the island."

"Of course it did," he mocked. "No matter. Rest easy, I'll have food for your crows soon enough."

He pulled out his sword while she coward and started to back away, her fluttering dress almost tripping her, "Emrys, believe me, I have nothing to do with whatever you're hearing. I swear on my life."

"What reason do I have to believe you?" he asked, holding his sword at his side.

"I know there is no reason, but please Emrys, I mean no harm."

"_Merlin."_

He closed his eyes, breathing through the lump. He heard the grass crunch beneath her feet and raised his sword, looking at her pale form.

"No blood could be spilt here but the blood of the wounded," she told him.

Merlin stared at her, "you can use your magic now..."

Morgana nodded after a moment.

"Are you waiting for me to completely break before you snap my neck, or until I beg for mercy?"

"Neither, Emrys."

"**QUIT CALLING ME THAT!"** He felt oddly satisfied at how fast her composer broke. Her hands were in front of her, and her legs seemed to give out from under her. _'How easy it would be,'_ he thought as he watched the wind move the hair from her neck, _'to cut her throat. One thrust, and the nightmare will finally be over.'_

He watched as her lips moved, but no sound came out. He pointed the sword at her neck, then pushed forward. She jerked. They stared at each other, then the sword. It was embedded in the stone behind her. He pulled it out and watched her sink further into the ground. The wind went away.

"No spilt blood?" he asked her.

Her eyes were on the ground, slightly shaking. He walked away from her, putting his sword in his sheath. His eyes locked onto his king again and noticed his displaced hand. He walked over and put it back on the table, holding it for a moment. Merlin looked at him and noticed his tangled hair. He let go of the cold hand and reached over to fix it. No voice spoke to him as he leaned back.

He looked over to Morgana. She was still on the ground, her gaze on him. He moved his eyes from her and looked around. Finding no sign of where someone would worship, he brought his gaze back to Arthur. He moved his hair some more, "bring him back to me."

He turned around and walked away. The water was still frozen even though it was summer. After he was across, he got on his horse and melted it, riding without looking back.

"I'm glad you came, Merlin," Gwen said as they walked. "Your servant only told me that you rode to deal with a personal problem."

"George's here?" he asked. "What am I saying, of course he's here."

"He arrived yesterday. He's in your room, fixing it as we speak," she said with a grin. "I think giving him to you was the best thing I've ever done."

"At least he doesn't make jokes about brass in my presence."

Gwen chuckled. They parted ways and he entered his room. George turned while polishing, "have you been successful?"

Merlin shrugged off his cloak, "to a point. You have any news for me?"

He took off the rest of his clothes, "I am sorry to say, your grace, that Lady Telesa and Lord Edward are died."

"What happened?"

"It was not an assassin,your grace," George said. "Lady Telesa was killed by a poison, and Lord Edward died in a riding accident."

"You said it wasn't an assassin."

"It wasn't, Lord Edward poisoned her wine and Lady Telesa damaged his saddle."

Merlin sank into the warm water, "they killed each other?"

"But don't morn them, your grace." George said. "Lady Telesa was found with love letters to Rome, and Lord Edward was found with papers from a foreign land."

Merlin sighed, "traitors in my own city."

"I'm sorry your grace." Merlin said nothing. "Sir Percival and Galahad left Hamrett after I did and will arrive tonight, if you wish to talk with them again." He hummed, leaning back and letting his servant wash his hair. He felt George lean over and whisper, "do you wish to know Guinevere's heir?"

Merlin nodded. George told him the name, then he went back to washing his hair. Merlin stared ahead, his thoughts quiet. After a moment, he began thinking of ways it could be used for and against him.

*** ~** **"Now I am become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds." –**_** Bahgavad Gita**_ **~ ***

That last quote is about me and you, dear reader...

I lie.

**Fun Fact** **#1** – Got the ideas from Arthurian legends that I was reading for the adaptation I'm writing (mostly for me to make the bunnies go away). So it's a mix of Ambrosius, Myrddin, Morgan, and the two dragons.

**Fun Fact #2** – _Your Bones_by _Of Monsters and Men_was what I was listening to when this idea was being birthed. Also, I listened to an hour and fifteen minutes of _Klaypex_ and _Gothika_ mixed into a playlist while typing.

**Fun Fact #3** – **"When the sun rises in the West and sets in the East. When the seas go dry and the mountains blow in the wind like leaves. Then he will return, but not before." – **_**Game of Thrones ~ * **_The quote that started it all! I was rewatching Game of Thrones and that quote got stuck in my head. So, after I watched the last episode of _Merlin_, I imagine what would happen if Kilgharrah said this to Merlin (did your heart wrench too?) and, after a bowl of ice cream and playing with puppies, really thought about it. And so this tear machine was born! (Actually, if I really wanted to make you cry, I would of made y'all listen to _Good Times Gonna Come_ by _Aqualung_ and type these words in Arthur's death scene:

"It's okay, Arthur. I understand. You can rest now, it's alright. Everything's going to be okay, I promise. You can close your eyes now, it's alright...I'm so sorry I couldn't save you, Arthur...I'll miss you..."

There's that damn dirt again!...Actually, that song would make a good 1 – 5 season tribute. Wish I had the means to make it...)

If anyone wants to write a story where the dragon says that quote, tell me so I can prepare before reading it. And if anyone wants to take this idea and rework it, feel free. I have no qualm with someone taking this fic and making it better. Just give me a shout out and I'm cool.


	2. When the Seas Go Dry

**Author's Note** – Okay, I'll write more. I didn't mean to, quite frankly I just made the first one to get the ideas out of my head. However, I had more ideas pop up and then one review came in and it was all downhill from there. (yes, pet my ego some more. purr)

This one will extend Morgana's storyline, and the next will be the ending in Merlin's point of view. I'll have a fourth as a bonus chapter about some of Merlin's earlier adventures, probably.

I don't like long epic novels of fanfiction (mostly because most people don't know when to let something run it's course and die with dignity, fanfic or otherwise), so don't expect this to be Lord of the Rings length or, oh this makes me cringe, eighty – four chapters and still ongoing.

It'll be updated about every 1 – 2 weeks until it's finished, so if you don't see the other one (or two) by then, presume I'm dead. Or I have my pit and spending all my free time training him.

Disclaimers and Warning in the first chapter (I blame the American written language for being so screwy, Mr. Lawyer), though there is rumors about a possible homosexual relationship between two knights so if you go *hiss* at any mentions of homosexuality, you can just skip the paragraph and not miss a thing.

Now, my mind on rating is a little screwy cause I was watching movies like Scream since I was four (Ren and Stimpy were my patron saints) so if this is like a low M, could someone tell me so I can change it before I traumatize a thirteen year old.

Enjoy, my pretties.

*** ~ "Gentle Mother, strength of women, help our daughters through this fray. Sooth the wrath and tame the fury, teach us all a kinder way. " – A Clash of Kings: _Mother's Hymn_ ~ ***

Arthur's wound was finally healed, only a scar remained of what Mordred had done. She looked at her brother's face and noticed that the wind had tussled his hair. She reached down and fixed it, then stared down at him for a moment before leaving his side.

Morgana looked over the waters, feeling the mist caressing her skin. Avalon spoke to her in soft tones, not telling her anything, but giving her comfort that she was there. A dark spot caught her eye and she saw one of the many places where Emrys' lightning struck that couldn't be healed.

_'He wants to be called Merlin,'_ she thought to herself. She moved her eyes over the waters and to the land ahead. The land was turning red and brown, a sign of fall. Avalon stayed green, with just a slight gust of a breeze in the air. It was relaxing.

She was thinking about moving Arthur into the tower when she saw a rider. He was slumped over his horse, almost falling off, but he was still fighting to control his steed. Morgana watched as the boat form out of the mist and to the shore, where the horse went to and stopped. She saw the knight tried to fight with the horse, before sliding off and getting on the boat. As the boat came closer, she saw the man's red cape bleed through the mist.

Morgana felt something soft fall in her face, then something heavy. She felt Avalon whisper to her, _"mask."_

Before she could look at her reflection, the boat landed on Avalon. Morgana helped the injured knight out of the boat and to the center. She wasn't surprised that her brother's body was gone.

"Who are you?" the knight asked.

"A healer," she told him, then motioned for him to help her take off his armor. She saw the rough bandage on his abdomen, and noticed that it was seeping through. "Lie down."

He did and she began chanting. The wound was simple, just a sword wound from a bandit's dull blade. Finding no spells or poisons, she formed new muscles, than closed the wound. The knight, who dozed off, woke and took off the bandages. He gingerly prodded the healed area.

"Thank you, healer," the knight said with a deep voice. "May I ask the name of my savior?"

Morgana paused as the knight began putting his armor back on. Avalon gave her a name. "I am Morgan Le Fay."

The knight got off the slab and stood, "I am Bedivere, a knight of Camelot."

Morgana put her shaking hands together and bowed, "sire."

She felt his hands on her arms, "there is no need to bow, Morgan Le Fay. It is I who should bow to you, I am in your dept."

Morgana watched as he bowed to her, "there is no need, I am just a healer."

"Is there no way for me to repay you?"

_'Keep me company.'_ "No, sire, just be more careful next time."

She led the knight to the boat, where he promised her that he would find a way to repay her. She watched him leave and ride off on his horse.

When the season changed to winter, she saw many come to gaze into the waters on the opposite shore, looking for a boat or island. Those that made a boat and sailed on the waters got lost in the mist, landing on the other shore.

Those that were injured, she made sure to have on her mask before going to them. There were many people that she healed, mostly travelers and knights. They would try to pay her, but she told them that she desired none. They all left something for her, though, little trinkets that she kept in her room. One traveler gave her a mirror, which, when she looked through it in her room, showed her the other shore up close.

At spring, she used the cloths that a knight sent on a boat to her and started to create a tapestry on what she saw in the mirror. She sewed Camelot, her brother, Aithusa, and Mordred. When she was finished with it, she'd draped it over a bolder resting in the center and started to make another.

The flowers that grew on the other shore were starting to bloom when she saw a hooded figure appear in her mirror. He walked to the edge and stopped, then put down his hood and looked around. His skin seemed to glow in the moonlight, his black hair shimmered blue as he tilted his head. _'Merlin.'_ She heard herself scream as he suddenly turned his head to her, his eyes blank. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, then was gone as quickly as he appeared.

Morgana felt herself breath. As she stared at the mirror, she noticed a thin crack on the mirror, straight down the middle. She didn't relax until it was summer, but even then she kept the mirror with her, waiting for when Merlin would show himself again.

The frost was beginning to thaw when Morgana saw a messenger in the mirror, whom she noticed had a golden dragon on his breast. She waited a moment before she went to the shore. The messenger was getting off the boat as she walked down to him. He came to her and bowed, then held a letter out to her. "From the Queen of Camelot."

She took the letter and looked at it. It was sealed with the Pendragon symbol. She opened it and read, feeling her chest tighten as she reached the end. _'An invitation to Camelot as an honored guest.'_ Morgana stared at the letter for a long time, the messenger waiting patiently. Avalon was quiet.

"I accept," she found herself saying. "I will finish healing Owain and take my leave in two weeks."

"We eagerly await your arrival, Morgan Le Fay."

The messenger bowed, then got back into the boat. She watched him go to the other shore, then went to the knight. When he was healed, he gave her a kiss on her hand and thanked her before leaving the island. Morgana went back to her tapestry, sewing the knight's image onto the fabric.

All to soon, she saw two knight from Camelot appear in the mirror. She dressed, went to check on her brother once more, then walked to the shore. The boat appeared out of the mist as she bend down to the waters, making sure the cloths were fixed on her face, the iron tiles on her face were perfect, and her hair tightly bounded in two.

Satisfied, she got on the boat and used her magic to push it to the shore. It was Bedivere and another, younger knight that awaited her on the other shore. The younger knight helped her out of the boat, and Sir Bedivere handed her the reigns of a horse.

Their ride was comfortable, with Sir Bedivere talking easy with her and the younger knight, Sir Accolon, making jokes about his fellow knights and himself. Morgana felt her eyes stay on the younger knight for long periods of time.

_'He's just handsome, that's all,'_ she told herself as Sir Accolon laughed hearty at the other knight's joke.

Camelot was as beautiful as ever, it's white walls shining brightly. She passed through the gate and gazed up, looking for anything red. _'Where's Merlin's dragon?'_ she thought as they rode into the courtyard.

Guinevere waited on the steps with her two knights, her gold and red dress complimenting her skin beautifully. Morgana was helped off her horse by the Druid priest from her trial. She waited for him to recognize her, but he didn't. Instead, he told her that he admired what she was doing, and that her actions have turned a more positive eye to those of the Old Religion.

"Though many won't convert," he told her, "they won't kill with prejudice. If this continues, perhaps we would be able to escape Morgana's shadow."

"We can only hope," she told him.

Guinevere smiled at her when she approached, Morgana noticed white streaks in her hair. "Welcome to Camelot, priestess of Avalon. I am glad you have accepted my invitation."

"I am glad you extended one," she told her, smiling even though Gwen wouldn't see it. _'How much time has passed?'_

"Irri will guide you to your room where you can rest, if that is what you wish. I'm afraid I will be busy until tonight, but feel free to explore the grounds."

"I shall, my queen," she said, bowing.

Gwen smiled again and left. The girl, Irri, walked up and bowed to her, "if you would follow me, priestess."

"You are the Queen's personal servant?" she asked as she noticed the crest on her chest.

"Yes, priestess."

"At such a young age?" she asked, gazing at the familiar statue on the staircase.

"I am eighteen summers, priestess."

Morgana looked at the woman again, "I thought you were fourteen. When did you came to Britannia?"

Irri smiled at her, "when I was fourteen, priestess." Morgana smiled as well. At her room, Irri bowed to her and said, "I have things to prepare for the queen, but Dorea is inside. She can bring you around the grounds if that is what you wish."

Irri left with another bow. Morgana found herself staring at the familiar hallway before she turned and opened her door. Dorea was older than Irri by a few years, but was one to gossip like a young girl.

"There is Sir Kay and Sir Bedivere," she told Morgana as they walked down a street, "they are almost never out of each others' sights."

Morgana looked to the pair. Sir Kay was arguing with Sir Bedivere, his red face matching his hair. Despite his partner's demeanor, Sir Bedivere was calm and spoke softly, motioning with his only hand as he talked. "I will guess that this is normal."

"More than normal," Dorea said. Her eyes suddenly shined and she turned to Morgana, "I heard Marietta say that Sir Kay argues with Sir Bedivere because he is the only one that could take his anger." Morgana waited for her to finish, Dorea didn't disappoint. "She also says that," she looked over and then whispered, "that they lie with each other, and their arguments is to keep things entertaining in the bedroom."

"No," Morgana said, looking at the pair. "Really?" As she looked, she saw Sir Bedivere put his hand on Sir Kay's shoulder, and watched as knight's face slowly drained of red, as did his anger. Morgana looked back at Dorea, who glanced when she felt her gaze. They giggled like children and quickly left to another street as they felt the pair's curios stare.

"Do you need assistance, Morgan?" Dorea asked when they returned to her room. Morgana paused, wondering if she could risk showing her face. She looked at the servant, then nodded. "Oh!" Dorea suddenly said, "I forgot to prepare your bath."

"It's alright," Morgana told the panicked servant, "I already took one today, anyway. Just get a bowl of water and a cloth, than help me out of this dress and into the one the queen sent me."

The dress was a beautiful emerald, with a corset that almost took her breath away and sleeves that hugged the corner of her shoulders. She looked at herself in the mirror Gwen provided, admiring how years seemed to drip off her body.

"Just look at you," Dorea said, moving her locks and looking at her in the mirror. "Why keep this pretty face away from the eyes of men? Why, I think you can even have King Merlin fall to his knees at your beauty."

She saw her eyes cloud in the mirror, "That will never happen in a thousand centuries."

"Don't doubt yourself, Morgan. Though, King Merlin is rather...he's never been in a relationship, I hear. At least not since the late king's death. Irri said that the queen told her that King Merlin was never quite the same after his friend, the late King Arthur, died."

"Well," Morgana said through a dry throat, watching Dorea brush her hair some more, "he is king. Being king comes with a lot of responsibilities."

"True," Dorea said, "he can't have bastards running around, can he? You sure you want to wear this mask?" Morgana nodded. "Alright, I know some braids that would work around it. Now, for your eyes..."

She felt Dorea move the two braids behind her back, than each came around her neck and rested on her chest. Morgana stood and went to the mirror, staring at her reflection. Never before did she want to destroy her iron tiled mask as she did in that moment. Instead, she just removed the three tiles on her mouth. The bottom of her nose and mouth was free for all to see. Dorea put something on her lips and used her nail around the edge of them.

She moved away from Morgana and looked her over, before nodding and walking her to the door. Outside of the room, Accolon was waiting to walk with her to the feast. She stared at his clean shaven face before she greeted him, "Sir Accolon."

"Morgan...Le Fay."

She watched him pick up her hand and kiss it, her heart fluttered at his stutter. _'Stop it.'_ He straightened and smiled, holding his arm out for her to hold.

_'Well,'_ she though, taking his arm, _'it wouldn't hurt to stare every once in a while.'_ She glanced at Dorea, who gave her a sly look.

"Priestess," a man greeted as they walked into the room, his accent thick. He gave a short bow, "it is an honor to meet you. Never did I think I would live to see the day where I would be in a room with a priestess and not fear for my life."

She smiled good naturally at him, "and I pray you live through many more encounters."

He smiled back, then he turned to Accolon, "you well, boy?"

"I have a beautiful woman by my side, how could I not be?"

His aged face wrinkling as he smiled, then bowed to her and walked away.

"That was King Urien," Accolon whispered, "a Jute. His wife died during Morgana's crusade. He's visiting because one of his sons have fallen in love with a Lady of Camelot, and he wants to make sure that she is strong enough to bare the blood of his family line. He's a good man. Took me and Ywain the bastard in when our village was raided, and he raised us with his children."

"You were raised a Jute?"

"No, he raised us with our homeland teachings. He sent searches when he could to look for our parents, but he could only find my mother. When he gave me a choice, I went to live with her. He never lost touch, though."

Accolon didn't leave her side as they mingled, which she was glad for as more and more people came to greet her. He would tell her who the people were once they left. Gwen would come to her and talk, and Morgana would see her stare at her from across the room from time to time. _'I should have disguised my voice,'_ she thought.

"Are you thirsty, Morgan?" Accolon asked when the Sir Ywain, Urien's true blood son, left.

"Yes," she answered, "and hungry."

"I shall bring a roasted pig for you," he smiled at her and left.

She watched him disappear into the crowd before sitting on a bench, turning around, and putting her hands on the table. From there, she could see the whole room. _'Where are you Emrys?'_ She looked at every face, from noble to servant. _'This night has gone too perfect for you to not be here.'_

"Priestess?" Morgana jumped, turning her head. A woman stood next to her in a red and black dress. The red curved on her waist, accenting her figure. "Sorry," the woman said, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Are you from Hamrett?" she asked, seeing an engraved dragon on her right hip.

"No...not really, I just visit...quite often," the woman blushed.

_'She couldn't be more than nineteen,'_ she thought. "For the king?"

The woman's cheeks seemed to burst into flames. She looked down at the floor, "he's just so handsome, the king. And he isn't married or courting, so it's not wrong to just look, right?"

Morgana smiled at the woman as she looked back up, "no, there's nothing wrong with looking."

"Should I come back?" She looked to Accolon as he walked up.

"I just remembered something," the woman said softly, then vanished into the crowd.

"Did I scare her off?" he asked as he put the plates down.

She noticed hers was almost overflowing, "probably. Your face is rather atrocious."

"Perhaps I'll find a sorceress to fix it for me," he said, looking at her.

"She'll be in for weeks of work," she said, smiling softly as his own lips curled.

The feast dwindled down, and Accolon walked her to her room. She didn't object when she kissed her on her hand and held it for a moment more. She watched him walked away before walking into her room, where Dorea was fixing her bath.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

Dorea helped her take off her mask and dress, "do I have to tell you of the secret passageways of Camelot?"

"For what?"

"For when you visit Accolon tonight."

Morgana scoffed, "I'm not visiting him in the middle of the night."

Dorea helped her into the bath, "so he's coming to you?"

"No...we're just enjoying each others' company, that's all. Don't go spreading rumors."

She felt Dorea smile at her, "alright." She didn't say anything else. She helped her into her gown and Morgana climbed into her bed.

"But," Dorea said, "if you do want to, there is a secret passage right here and, if you take a right, it will lead you to the knight's wing of the castle. I asked for you, and Accolon's room is six door to the left in the third right hall."

Morgana watched her go, ignoring her look.

She didn't leave her room that night, but she did the next night, and the night after that. Dorea would asked for details each morning, squealing high enough to cause dogs to go crazy.

On the fourth morning, she heard the dogs bark when Dorea made a pig–like noise. _'Arthur's dogs,'_ she thought as she glanced over to the lank blonde servant trying to control them.

"So," Dorea started with a smile, "is that bracelet from him?"

"Nothing escapes your eye, does it?"

She gave another squeak, the dogs barked at them. "It's so romantic! I can see the songs now, the Knight and the Priestess..."

Morgana let the other woman's mind wonder off as she led her into the market. Dorea picked up jewelry and dresses, telling her to buy them so she could wear them the next time she visited Accolon.

The sky was growing pink as they walked back to the castle, Dorea frowning because Morgana brought nothing.

"Priestess."

She turned to see the woman from the feast, wearing a cotton red dress. "Yes?"

The woman looked at her shyly, "I know your visit to Camelot is short, so I was wondering if you would visit me tonight. I have something to ask of you, privately."

Morgana nodded, not surprised by the request. Many asked for either her advise or spelled trinkets. Even King Urien called upon her a few times. "Give me time to change and I'll go to your room. If that is alright with you?"

The woman smiled brightly, "that would be great. Thank you, priestess."

The woman bowed and walked away. Morgana shared a look with Dorea before walking back to her room. She dressed into a comfortable dress and Dorea led her to the woman's room, knocking for her.

"Come in." Morgana went inside, noticing the woman by the window. There was no one else in the room.

The woman turned around and smiled. Her dress was red and black again, except the red was on her neck and traveled down to her chest, forming a tear shape. A ruby dragon was sewed on the red, a flame sprouting from his open mouth. "I'm glad you came. Come, I made lamprey pie."

"You made it yourself?" Morgana asked, sitting at the table.

"Yes. Part of the reason I called for you was for your advise on my cooking."

Morgana served herself some, "but not the whole reason."

"No, priestess." She didn't pry and took off the three tiles. They ate in comfortable silence, talking between bits. "King Urien seems rather found of you, priestess."

Morgana thought of the Jute, "I didn't notice."

"I heard him comment on your lovely voice to his knights while I traveled the grounds," the woman said before sipping her wine. "He seems smitten."

"Is he?" Morgana asked. "Well, he's not that old."

"No, he isn't," the woman said, smiling knowingly at her over her cup. "He managed to beat Sir Leon in a mock battle, I've heard. If he has strength for that, he'll have strength for other...activities." The woman smiled at her and they shared a laugh. "Can't say the same for the Sickly King," the woman commented to herself.

"The one near Rome?" Morgana asked.

"The very same."

"His father was a naive man," she commented, "he should have known that his younger sister was trying to take his throne."

The woman smiled at her over her glass, something flashing in her eyes, "funny how siblings don't suspect their own blood."

Morgana was glad for her mask as the woman took a drink. _'Arthur.'_

"It's mostly men who don't suspect their siblings," the woman went on, "especially if it's a woman. They don't think a woman is capable of cruelty, or murder. But that is one of the reasons why women are so dangerous. Do you know the other?"

She looked at the woman's face, not surprise she was showing her true self. _'Many acted different when_ _they talked to me.'_ "Our beauty. We can manipulate men into doing what we want."

The woman smiled, "that worm between their legs does half their thinking. However, woman have the same weakness, and many let their desires take control of their mind. Just like you have, Morgana."

She froze as the woman's features melted. Her cheekbones became sharper, her brown hair darken to a graying black, and her lips filled.

Morgana swallowed as her mouth dried, "Merlin."

"Did you think I am as blind as your brother?" he asked innocently.

Her mind blanked, "I don't know what you've talking about, Merlin. I really don't."

"You seem to forget that I was there when you took Camelot's throne," he said, his eyes never leaving hers. "I know all of your tricks."

Morgana felt her blood freeze in her body, "I...what have you done?"

"Nothing more if you leave Camelot tonight."

"What have I done to deserve this distrust?!" She screamed in frustration, then regretted it when his face froze. "No, that's not what I meant. I mean, what have I done to you now to deserve this distrust?"

The hairs on her body stood on edge as he stared at her coldly for an eternity. "Nothing," he finally said, "but I know what you can do."

"I don't desire the throne!"

He gave her a half smile, "you really do take me for a fool. Sneaking in the corridors at night, getting friendly with the visiting king, and planting a spy in Camelot."

Her brain tried to catch up, "I haven't done – I went to visit – I haven't planted a spy! Merlin, you're speaking madness."

He stared at his glass as he moved it with his finger, "he's not that good looking, your spy. Though he has a lovely body, but that is to be expected for someone in their twenties. The good thing about being as young as he, busies heal quite quickly."

Merlin's cold eyes looked up at her, "I'm almost disappointed in you, Morgana. I had begun to think that your mind was stable, and your thirst for the crown dried up. I should learn to stop trusting you...I would kill you now, but, and I am loathed to admit this, I need you. My healing abilities have much to be desired for, so as long as Arthur is in Avalon, you'll live. I'll even let you have your lover to keep you company.

And when he wakes, if he's not completely healed, or if you poison him, I will take your lover from you. I will skin him right in front of you eyes so you can hear him scream. I'll make you watch, as I rip his beating heart out of his chest and feed his body to the wolves. And when they're done, when your cries have ended, I will have mercy and split your skull.

But if he dies, by your hands or one of your _dogs_, you better make sure I am dead. Because there isn't a man, alive or died, who could devise a more painful death for you and your little whore."

Her heart seemed to stop as they stared at each other. Morgana tried to think, but her thoughts were scattered. In the chaos, she managed to form a question, "how do I know you haven't killed him already?"

"Would you like to see him?" Merlin asked, smiling. "I'd thought you might. Sir Galahad, bring in the traitor."

She heard stone move and turned. Accolon was brought into the room, bound tightly. His eyes were unfocused, and his head lolled about as he was made to stand in front of the young knight. A bruise was forming on his neck, and his lip was split. Morgana went to him, picking up his head and calling his name. "What did you do to him?!"

"It's not my fault he struggled while being arrested," Merlin answered with a docile tone. "As for his current state...well, blood magic can take a lot out of someone."

Morgana slowly let Accolon's head go and turned to Merlin, not believing her ears. "What?"

"I can't have him dying because you'll live longer than him. Now, when you die, he'll die. Don't give me that look, Morgana, you've brought this upon yourself. Don't worry, in four days he will be completely well."

Merlin waved his hand and Accolon was taken away. Morgana felt as if the world turned on it's head, and there was nothing to hold on to.

She felt warm fingers hook themselves on her chin and pick her head up. She looked into his eyes as her own quivered, "we both know if our roles were reversed, how this would turn out. Be glad I am giving you back your lover once you've left. Though, if you try to take the throne again, you will worn out your usefulness."

He let go of her chin, his warmth burned on her skin. She blinked, but her vision still shook. She wanted to voice that she didn't love Accolon. She wanted to curse him. She wanted to run back to Avalon and hide from his wrath. But no sound escaped her throat.

"I won't deny that I am enjoying this," he told her, "I finally have the upper hand on you. It took me far too long...A horse is saddled on the outskirts of Camelot, all you have to do is walk out of the front gate. I believe I don't have to tell you how to get out of Camelot unseen."

Morgana kept her eyes on his cold ones, he patiently waited for her to leave. She felt her mouth open, but no sound coming out for a moment. "What caused you to become this way, Merlin?"

She watched his eyes thaw, burning with venom. His face stayed still as he leaned closer to her. She could smell burning wood on him, and saw the flour he had on his face crack. His shiny blood red lips parted, "you."

Morgana shivered slightly, knowing that if she didn't leave he would do something to her. She backed away, then left the room.

The horse was waiting for her as promised, snorting softly as she climbed up and took his reigns. She looked to the white walls of her former home once more, and saw something red crawl on one of the towers. She turned the horse and rode to Avalon.

She burst into Arthur's room, looking for any sign that he woke up. Seeing that he was still dead, she bent down to him and put her hand over his. "You must wake up soon, please."

His face stayed still, and his hands cold. She knew it would stay that way for a long time, but that didn't stop her pleading until her throat croaked. Avalon had to coax her into sleep.

When she woke, she went to the center of the island. "Why didn't you warn me?" she asked Avalon. "Why didn't you show me what would happen?"

"_Magic–born,"_ Avalon answered.

"What?"

"_Ever changing. Harbinger of chaos and order. Calamity."_

Morgana turned as the fountain called to her. She walked to it, sitting on her knees as visions appeared in the waters. Structures that touch the sky, the air conquered by large white metal objects, the moon captured by a new nation. A large blue, green, and white orb appeared, slowly rotating. She watched as the star–like lights on the green suddenly vanished, and parts of the green started to turn a rust color.

"_The world will burn to ash beneath his feet as he waits..."_

"I swear, your grace, I would never spy on Camelot. On my mother's life I swear!"

Morgana turned to Accolon's voice. Merlin was taking chains off of him, nodding to the other young knight. The knight bowed to Merlin, then glanced at her. His familiar eyes gazed at her with a flash of sympathy before he left.

"Maybe you would have," Merlin said, taking off the last chain, "maybe you wouldn't have. I can't take that chance."

"Your grace..." Merlin ignored his plea, rolling up the chains, and started to walk away. "Your grace, may I ask something from you?"

Merlin stopped walking, still rolling up the chains, "you may ask, but don't expect anything."

"My mother," Accolon said with a croaking voice, "she gets sicker each day and – please, I don't want her to die thinking her only son was a traitor." Merlin stood straighter, but didn't turn. "Tell them both, my mother and my little sister, Morfydd, that I...I died...You can mark me as a traitor, but please, your grace..."

Accolon stopped with a gasp. Morgana wanted to move closer, to comfort him, but she dared not alert Merlin. A moment passed before he started to walk away, "your family will never know of your treason."

"Thank you, your grace," Accolon managed to whisper after Merlin was gone.

Morgana waited, then went to him. She bent to put her hand on his shoulder. He jerked, then looked up at her. His eyes were watery and blank as he looked into her eyes. "Morgana." She flinched at his tone. "You lied to me."

"Just my name," she told him, "only my name. Everything else was real, I swear."

He stared, "the king said you wanted Camelot. He said I was to be your spy."

"I swear to you, I don't want Camelot. I don't want the throne." She started to kneel, but stopped when he turned his head. She felt her heart tightened in her chest and began moving her hand. A tremor went through his shoulders as he reached up and gripped her finger. Morgana paused, then went on her knees. She leaned into him and wrapped her arms around him.

"_Two halves of the same coin,"_ Avalon told her.

Morgana turned her head slightly, confused for a moment. _'Arthur and Merlin?'_

"_One cannot live without the other,"_ Avalon continued, _"without feeling incomplete."_

_'His love will consume him.' _She turned and rested her head on Accolon's shaking shoulders.

_"Centuries he will live, in loneliness, and in darkness. To suffer alone, until his half is returned to him."_

*** ~ "But now the rains weep o'er his hall, with no one there to hear. Yes now the rains, weep o'er his hall, and not, a soul to hear."– Game of Thrones: _The Rains of Castamere_ ~ ***

This is probably a disappointment, I am sorry. (Blame System of a Down. Or thank them, if you loved this, which you probably didn't.)

**Aunda** – Thanks for being my first!

**SunnySmile1324** – Thanks for making me feel bad for ending it so quickly. I'm sorry for any trauma I caused.

**Dawn Ruthless** – Thanks for giving me the idea of possibly making a bonus chapter, and for tipping me in the direction of continuing.

**TheFoundersDaughter** – The straw that broke the camel's back (bad analogy). I am sorry for the misspelled words, and hope if this chapter does anything, it will clear some confusion that you have. Though, I'm sorry to say, you won't see Galahad again after this. Maybe in the bonus chapter, maybe.


	3. The Mountains Blow in the Wind

**1/28/13**** –** Terrible wisdom tooth ache which is more than likely causing my ear infection. So I am typing and cutting things while taking pain meds for the ache. If it's jumbled and out of wack, blame the tooth!

**Author's Note** – Last Chapter, people! "Tis better to have love and lost then never to have loved at all". But hey, at least I won't ruin anybody's Christmas! (Oh hai red dot – )

Warnings and Disclaimer in the first chapter. This is in Merlin's point of view. In case of eye leakage, have a puppy or kitten nearby. And make sure to take a break between each quote.

*** ~ "There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature." – _Jane Austen_ ~ ***

Merlin hated immortality. To watch those he called friends die was hard, but to see millions upon millions age and die before his eyes as he stayed relatively the same was even harder. It intensified his 'oddness'. Even among the others, he was unnatural. Rache, his only companion after Camelot fell, disappeared sometime when America was 'discovered', living the rest of his days with his fellow dragons. They might not have talked much, but it was nice to have someone that knew his real identity by his side.

_'Morgana still lives,'_ his thoughts told him.

He felt anger rise at the thought of the witch. He moved his eyes out of the window of Excalibur, a posh hotel in America of all places, in the direction he know Avalon was in. The witch's lover's life was still in his hand, so he knew that Arthur was safe from anything she could do.

_'Unless she finds a loophole...'_

"Miss Thibodeaux?"

He blinked his eyes, looking at his employee in the window. He put Merlin away and spoke in a light southern drawl, "yes?"

The man handed her a letter, "for you."

She took the letter and stared at it curiously, "who is it from?"

"A gentleman in a suit."

She felt her lip twitch, "thank you."

He left her and she used the letter opener in her purse to tear it open. She read the letter, feeling disgust coat her body as she reached the bottom. _'The nerve of that...'_

She put the letter down and got out her phone. She pressed three and waited.

"Yo, Phoenix here."

"Soren," she purred, "I have a favor to ask."

"What do you need, pretty woman?"

She smiled, "you know that rat problem I have in my house? It's gotten out of hand, and I need a good exterminator."

"Sure, sugar plumps. I'll find ya a good man."

"You are too much, cher."

"I try, baby. Is that all?"

"Yes Soren, you can go back to your...fun."

"Oh, I will."

She rolled her eyes as she ended the call. She put her phone back in her purse with the letter opener, then picked up her purse and the letter, flicking the crumpled paper in the fireplace as she passed.

Merlin slipped into the manor's master when the door closed in his home in Britain. The maids and butlers didn't acknowledge him as he walked up the stairs, where his old manservant's look–a–like waited for him.

_'Only him and Gwaine I could find,_' he thought, stepping into the shower.

It was hard, looking for his old friends. He had to run a facial recognition on every computer that was linked to a camera, bypassing all the firewalls and security. He got lucky with George, who came to him, wanting an interview. It wasn't hard to frame him, just one phone call and the boy was in jail. Then he had to pull a few strings, and the boy was freed on a technicality, completely grateful to the man he once interviewed.

_'As loyal as a dog.'_

"Miss?" the boy asked, holding out his phone. He took the phone as Geoff mouthed _'your stalker.'_

He put away the man, "yes, David?"

"Did you get my letter?"

"Of course I did," she said, deepening her rough accent. "Really, a million?"

"To someone like you, beautiful. That isn't nothing."

"Do you know how hard it will be to sneak that out of China?"

"You will make do," the worm said.

She sighed through her teeth, "don't expect it anytime soon."

"Don't be late, sweet cheeks."

He hanged up on her.

_'Gwaine's look–a–like better hurry the – ' _Merlin's phone rang in his hands, showing Soren's number. He moved the green dot to the center and put it to his ear, "you must be physic."

"Nope," he said, "I am merely a sex demigod."

He sighed, "you have my exterminator?"

"He wants to meet with you personally. Don't worry, I did all the background work. He's trustworthy and legit."

"It's your ass if he isn't."

"You can have it anytime you like, sugar plumps. Just ask and – "

"Send me the files," he interrupted, hanging up.

The next day, he eagerly awaited the ghost. The man was brilliant, even Merlin couldn't find a trace of his past. The ghost was completely shrouded in shadows and, more importantly, was his own businessman, holding loyalty to no one.

_'Ghosts never met with their clients. Why does this one?'_ He heard the door open and picked his head led the man into the room, and he almost had a heart attack. _'Uther.'_

The former dead king of Camelot walked into the room, an air of professionalism around him. Geoff led him to a chair and poured him a glass of water. Then he left them alone.

"Kingpin," she greeted, shaking his hand.

The man shook with a hard grip, "your grace." Merlin kept her face smooth, "it's just you and me?"

"Yes."

The man nodded, "then lets cut to the chase, Merlin." He let go of her hand and sat down. "my wife and I started to remember after your man got in touch with me."

Merlin sat down slowly, "I would ask how you knew it was me but...how did you remember?"

"I'm not sure," he said. "Ygraine thinks it was because we were both brought back from the dead, one way or the other."

"That's...that could play a factor...And you wanted to meet me because?"

"Near our resurrection, we were put in a plain room together. Arthur was watching you with a worried look on his face, and neither I nor his mother could tear him from the 'screen'. Your devotion to each other is...well, many would call it deadly."

"...I am sure this story has a point?"

Uther looked at her coldly, she hid her shiver. "He's awakening."

Merlin felt his disguise flicker as a long forgotten feeling filled his chest, "you better not be – "

"His form was corporal," Uther interrupted his curse, "I could see him completely. He was bright and golden, more so than his mother."

Merlin kept her composure, "that doesn't explain why you wanted to meet me."

"Arthur has a good heart," Uther began. "He's kind, believes in second chances, and trust at the drop of a hat. He will destroy himself in this world if he is not careful. He'll need people like us if he means to become king."

Merlin gave a short laugh as she looked down to the table, "never did I think you would give me a compliment."

"Take it how you will, but you know that what I say is true."

"The gods be cruel, but I do," Merlin said, then looked back up, "an assassin and a warlock, there is a joke about this out there in the world, I'm sure...So, do we spit in our palms and shake on it?"

"I think getting rid of your rat problem would work well enough."

Merlin smiled, "that it would, Uther. Or do you want to be called by your new name?"

"My old one is fine. Many would think it's just a code name."

"Same with me."

They both stood and shook hands, then Uther was gone. Merlin went back to his room, then collapsed on the bed with a flop. He laid on the soft bed and pulled the pillows near his head.

A few days later, he got a text from Uther, and a picture of Gwen and Elyan's resurrected forms. He sent money to the man's account and went to the road. He looked at the still water, the mist rather heavy.

Then he felt it, a soft twinge in his gut. He put a hand to his form's rounder stomach and heard a car stop down the road. He looked to it and saw a man turning the keys on the car. Merlin glanced at Avalon before going to the man, "is something wrong?"

"The damn car won't start," the man said in a welch accent as he got out.

"Think a fuse broke?" Merlin asked, helping the man pick up his hood.

"Probably, piece of sh – and my phone's dead, great!"

Merlin pulled out his own phone, "you can use mine...?" He pushed the button on his phone, but the screen stayed black, "I recharged it this morning..."

"Unreliable plastic, now I have to walk all the way back to town."

"At least it's only a few miles." The man agreed silently, then stared at something in the sky. Merlin watched his face slowly drain of color. He turned to look, then was almost deafened and blinded by a gigantic fireball. He watched as it started to burn everything, the smell of burning flesh and gas overwhelmed his nose.

"That plane just fell from the sky..."

He spared a glance at the man, then looked to his watch. It wasn't moving. He grabbed the confused man by the shoulders, "listen to me, I want you to stay right here and wait to see if someone appears from the lake."

"What, but the fire – "

"I'll take care of it," he told the man, "just wait for a man to appear from the waters. A blond man, probably wearing armor."

"What, are you nuts?!"

Merlin groaned in frustration, then formed a fireball in his hand. The man gave a yell and backed up. He extinguished it and pointed to the ground, "stay and watch the waters, am I clear?"

The man nodded, slightly shaking. He left the man and went to the fire. He got rid of his disguise, then called his magic to help push the fire down, smothering it. When it was gone, he walked back down the road. The man was staring at the waters with a dazed look, snapping out of it when he saw him.

"Man, you wouldn't believe what I just saw – "

"Someone came out of the water?"

"Oh God, you're a Harry Potter freak too?"

Merlin was confused, then remembered he took off his disguise. "No, I'm the same man. Did anyone come out of the waters."

"Nah, though I thought for a minute I saw an island in the middle...I'm going to guess that's a good thing."

"That's a very good thing. A very, very good thing."

"Right...I'm going to go now."

"Yeah," Merlin agreed, staring at the water. "Everything electronic is down, and probably won't come back for a few months. You might want to find yourself a nice hovel before everyone goes completely mad."

He felt the man stare at him, then left. Merlin sat on the slope, and waited.

*** ~ " _'I want to weep,'_ she thought. _'I want to be comforted. I'm so tired of being strong. I want to_ _be_ _foolish and frightened for once. Just for a small while, that's all...a day...an hour.'_ " – _A Clash of_ _Kings_ ~ ***

As he predicted, the electricity came back on after six months. It started out small, watches and abandoned peacemakers. When houses started to light up, electricians flocked to the plants and gave power to the people.

The people tried to go back to their homes, or try to find family, but none wanted to go by plane. So, comfortable with the help of magic users, boats made by the Celts became popular. Many were weary of technology, even after four years.

_'And Britain is in dire need,'_ Merlin thought as left his home.

Britain suffered hard when the Blackout happened, the prime minister and most of the royal family were killed from planes and helicopters. North America had to step up and shield their ally from the other countries that wanted the United Kingdom for their own. Since North America was selling metals and tobacco, the rest of the world didn't want to cause a powerful enemy.

_'But their lust for more land will not hold them back for long,'_ Merlin thought as he walked down the familiar road. _'And America might just claim the United Kingdom for their own.' _He went to the shore and sat down, staring at the waters. The familiar feeling appeared in his chest as he waited. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He frowned, then picked it up.

It was a text from Uther, 'found the boy'.

Merlin stared at the screen as a picture of Mordred popped up with his profile. His file said he was in his twenties, but baggy, shredded clothes and years of malnutrition left him looking like a helpless boy. He was an escapee from Greece, where magic users were rounded up and sold to the highest bidder.

_'Telekinesis, huh?'_ Merlin thought as he kept reading.

'What do you want done to him?' the text at the bottom asked.

He thought about killing him, but past experiences with resurrected people made him decide against it. _'Besides,'_ he thought as he sent the text, _'he's not a druid in this life. And Camlann doesn't exist anymore.'_

Merlin waited for Uther's conformation, then put the phone back in his pocket. He looked back to the waters, and watched the thick fog creep onto the land. He stood up, squinting at the dark form in the mist.

"Hey there!" he heard Arthur's voice cut through the fog, "can't you do anything about this fog?"

The question wasn't meant for him. Merlin barely felt his disguise fall as his suspicion and anger rose. The fog lightened and he saw the boat with its passengers. He backed up as the boat landed on the shore, and he stepped off the boat. His lively blue eyes found his, "Merlin...you grew a beard?" Arthur walked up to him, then looked him over. "And you've got fat."

Merlin gave a short laugh, "have you seen yourself? I don't know how a dead person could gain ten stones but you found a way."

They stared at each other, before they laughed. Merlin turned as he felt sadness start to take over, pulling his phone out of his pocket and texting his driver to bring his car. He turned back, "you are probably confused – "

"I know about technology," Arthur said, "not much to do when you're dead but watch and rest."

"Good, I'd be horrible at explaining anyway. And you'd probably electrocute yourself trying to slay the telly."

Arthur gave him his look, Merlin felt himself smile. Arthur stared a moment more before turned away from him, "are you going back to Avalon?"

Merlin turned to look at the witch, who sent him a glance. She looked back at Arthur, "it's my duty to stay, Arthur."

"But you can come visit?"

Morgana blinked her eyes as she looked down, "maybe...but I can't make any promises."

"...this might be the last we see of each other?"

Morgana said nothing. Arthur pulled his tearing sister into a hug and held her close. Merlin heard the car pull up behind him as they let go. They stared at each other before Morgana turned and went back to the boat.

_'Well played, Morgana,'_ he thought as they watched the boat sail away. He looked to Arthur's face and saw his red eyes, _'well played indeed.'_ "Come, there is lots to do and so little time to do it."

Merlin changed into his disguise and, after nodding to the driver, went inside the car. As he sat down, he saw Arthur awkwardly climb in. He gave him a confused look before sitting next to him, twitching when the driver closed the door, "why did you change?"

"Only a few know me as Merlin," he answered.

The car became silent. He glanced at Arthur as he stared out of the window, watching every passing building with interest. At his home, after glancing at the young man following Geoff, Merlin led Arthur to his new room and watched as he inspected everything with a critical eye.

"I'll leave you to it," he told Arthur before leaving.

In the morning, he checked his phone for any development on the boy, then left his room. He went into the kitchen and made breakfast for Arthur, then gave it to Geoff to bring it to the former king. He walked to the board room and spent an hour talking to his employees about Japan's shipment.

Geoff was waiting for him outside, "Arthur wants you."

He felt his heart pound hard once before he controlled himself, then nodded to Geoff before walking to Arthur's room. The former king was sitting at the table Merlin had made for him, reading the books he left for him. He glanced up, then went back to the book. He closed the door and looked around. Clothes were thrown on the floor, and a broken glass was near the table, the white wine dripping down the steps.

"Odd," he commented, "I thought you'd like that flavor."

"Too sweet," Arthur said.

Merlin sighed, then bent down to pick up some clothes. He inspected the clean clothes, brushed off the dirt, then folded and put them in the dresser.

"Why don't you use magic?"

Merlin paused, then bent down again, "if I used magic all the time, I'd get flabby."

He heard Arthur hum, then it was silent again. He finished putting the clothes away, then went to the cup. He waved his hand, cleaning the wine and piecing the glass back together. He put the fixed glass on the table and went to the mini–fridge. He pulled out a red wine bottle, "stocked the fridge up with different wines and you didn't so much as look inside."

"Why should I when you're my servant?"

Merlin said nothing as he opened the bottle, the cork bouncing off Arthur's head. He moved the foaming bottle away from himself as Arthur glared at him, "you've gotten rusty."

"I've been dead for centuries, I think I'm entitled to be a little 'rusty'."

Merlin swallowed as he filled the glass and brought it to his lips. He stopped, then handed the glass to Arthur. He felt him take it, "Geoff said you wanted me for something."

A pause, "I didn't ask for you."

Merlin nodded, putting the bottle on the table. He started to walk away, "well, I have things – "

"Stay."

Merlin slowed in his steps, then turned around. Arthur was looking at a page in the book, not even glancing up as he walked to the table. They said nothing for a few minutes, Merlin felt his anxiety rise.

"Why are you...like that? It's just me."

Arthur waved at his body and he looked down, "I'm not used to...my real form."

"Why?"

"I don't want to say."

"You don't trust me?"

"What...of course I do."

"Then?"

Arthur finally looked up at him, waiting. Merlin felt his disguise drip away, the fan above tickled his short hair. Arthur's eyes roamed his face, his own stone. Merlin kept his feeling hidden, "happy, your highness?"

He turned away, "Merlin."

He didn't turn around, "what?"

Arthur didn't speak. Merlin started to walk again when he heard Arthur get up. He turned his head as he spoke slowly, "while I was dead, I was able to see everything. I saw how long you kept Camelot alive, I saw the things you have done to rise to power, I saw how it tore you up inside, and the nightmares that filled your dreams. You don't sleep anymore – "

"I don't have time for this – Let go!"

Merlin felt the two hands grip tighter on his arms. Merlin stopped struggling as his chest tightened, "...you've done so much, and went through it all alone. You trust no one, not even yourself.

...I blame myself. If I just held on for a while longer...I would have made it back to Camelot, to my people, to Gwen. If I just held on, you wouldn't have had to rule Albion alone. Instead, I left you all."

Merlin swallowed, "don't blame yourself...I don't regret it, Arthur. I was sad when you died, devastated, but I don't regret it. I'm stronger, because of it. I was able to grow up, and see the darkness in the world. I could see that the gods of the world have no mercy for us, and the world is full of injustice...you have to hide yourself, become someone different, to get what you need and thrive. You have to become a monster..."

He felt Arthur freeze behind him, he swallowed. "All these bad people and naive civilian, I can outwit them, foil their plans, find conspirators better than the most trained spy. I'm good at it, it's what I am, I can't stop..."

He waited a moment before turning to Arthur. His face was unreadable. Merlin looked away, "I'm everything you and your father hated. I'm a unfeeling monster that uses his magic to his own gain...so, you going to kill me?"

Merlin waited for him to let go and strangle him. He felt Arthur's grip lessen, then turn him around. He sucked in a breath, then looked at him. Arthur's form was blurred. Merlin bowed his head to blink his eyes. "I forget how much of an idiot you can be sometimes, Merlin."

He felt a warm hand run through his hair as his vision blurred again. He brought up his free hand and tore it off. He backed up from Arthur, then turned and ran.

With lead feet, he went to the roof. He glanced around for anyone, then went to the railing. The wind froze the drying tears on his face. He put his hand on his mouth to stop his screams. He felt his body hunch over the railing as he held in his cry. He took in the crisp air, gripping his throat tight in a vain attempt to stop. When that didn't work, he bent over the railing and bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed.

He heard soft footfalls behind him and spun around. The young man who looked like Mordred stopped as he stared, "how long were you there?"

The young man tugged on his sleeve, _"not long. I heard a noise and came to see..."_

The young man kept avoiding his eyes, "Matthias, was it? Shouldn't you be out there, enjoying your birthday on an exotic island with bikini clad women as far as the eye can see?"

The young man's face turned pink, _"your magic seeps through the house and lands...it's relaxing. I feel like a babe in his mother's arms..."_

Merlin laughed softly at his embarrassed face, a thought forming in his head. He leaned back on the railing, "you remind me of a little boy I once knew..." He felt him move closer. He turned his head to watch the young man lean on the railing with him, "...allow me to share some wisdom with you on this special day...

The more people you love, the weaker you are...you'll do things for them, that you know you shouldn't do. You'll act a fool, to make them happy, and to keep them safe...chose carefully who to love, but even more so for those you can trust."

The boy stared at his nose strangely, _"but...I should trust the ones I love..."_

Merlin smiled at him, "trusting someone, and loving someone, are two different things, little crow. Your loved one might not love you like you love them, or they are too trusting of the world...If you can afford it, don't trust anybody. Life is safer that way."

He saw the boy stand up, but his hand was still on the railing. He looked up to the young man's confused face, _"why are you telling me this?"_

"You're about as intertwined with magic as I am," he told the young man, "or you wouldn't be feeling my magic like you do." He reached over and covered the young man's hand with his own. He felt the young man grip the railing as he gasped for air, "you feel it now, don't you? The cold and despair the Earth is releasing...

There is a war coming, little crow. I've felt it for months after the lights came back on, and it getting stronger every day. I don't know when it'll happen, and I don't know who we'll be fighting, but it's coming. And I'll be damned if I and my men are not ready for it."

The young man seemed to fall in on himself when he let go of his hand. A moment passed in silence, _"you're giving me a job?"_

Merlin looked away as he laughed, "all that and this is what you latch onto, yes I am giving you a job. You'll be Arthur's servant, or butler, if you prefer. Arthur, the man you saw me arriving with, needs someone who he can confide in. Someone who isn't afraid to trust him. He'll be a pain in the beginning, a royal one, but he has a gentle heart."

The young man blinked at him, _"a whole speech about not trusting anyone, and you'll telling me to trust this Arthur?"_

"You'll trust him regardless," he told him. "He's got a knight's honor, you know? He believes in chivalry and second chances and all that. My old self must have rubbed off him a little too much...You'll start tomorrow, I'll introduce the two of you." He smiled at the young man, patting him on the shoulders.

In the morning, after a meeting with executives about Africa, he got Arthur's breakfast and gave it to the Matthias. He led him to Arthur's room and held the door open for him. He closed the door behind him and looked around the dark room. He turned on the lights, looking at the thrown clothes.

"_This is normal?"_ Matthias asked.

"More than normal," he answered. He went to Arthur's bed, hearing his soft snoring. He paused at the drapes, then changed back into Merlin. He pushed the cloths back and saw the former king on his belly, somehow taking up all the space in the king sized bed. "I never felt more sorry for Gwen," he mumbled to himself.

He grabbed the sheet and pulled it off of Arthur. He jerked while pushing himself up and opening his eyes, "Merlin?"

"Time to get up," he told Arthur while dropping the sheet back on the bed.

"The sun's not even out," Arthur stated.

"There is a lot to do today, and I wanted you to meet your butler...servant...the young man who will wait on you." Arthur looked at the young man as Merlin continued, his face sobering, "his name is Matthias. He's a mute." He glanced over to see Matthias balancing the plate on one hand and giving a nervous wave. "He can't use his voice, but he can speak with his mind."

He watched as the young man didn't meet Arthur's eyes, but felt Arthur flinch slightly as he 'talked' to him.

"So, you're quitting?" Arthur asked.

"I have a job to do," Merlin said, "and he needed a job. Sure, it's a colossal job, but I think he can handle your commands." Merlin didn't look at Arthur as he left, "Matthias can fill you in on your schedule today, and what will happen in three months."

He walked out of the room with a heavy heart and changed into the manor's master once more.

*** ~ "And what have we done, can it be undone? In the evil's heart, in the evil's soul? " – Florence: _Seven Devils _ ~ ***

Merlin looked at the councilmen around him, who stared at either him or Arthur. "This boy you bring us," an older military man began, "you say he knows how to lead an army."

"I've led thousands of men into battle, general Wolff," Arthur told the man, "and I led thousands home."

"And why haven't we heard of these feats?" an old commander asked.

_'He'll cause trouble.'_ "A lot happened during the Dark days," Merlin said, "many things I am sure we would like to forget."

The board started to grow uneasy as memories were brought back into their mind. "How old are you, Arthur?" a graying woman asked.

"Thirty–three, Miss Shepard."

"I thought you were older," the woman said. "Your kind of eyes are usually on someone like Commander Lee."

The commander glanced at the woman before looking to Merlin. They stared at each other before the commander turned to the other members and 'whispered', "are we really going to trust the word of a _Magi_? And what would this boy know about war?"

"I know that it's not the fighting that kills most people," Arthur said, "it's starving. Food is more valuable than gold, from soldier to civilian alike. Many would sell their jewelry for a sack of potatoes or a few loaves of bread. If it gets bad enough, the poor would start eating each other."

The board members all watched Arthur silently as he leaned back in his chair, Merlin kept his feelings hidden. _'He's in his element,'_ he thought with pride.

"Thieves love a siege. As soon as transportation is on locked down, they steal as much food as they can. By the time it's all over, they're the riches men in town."

The board members glanced at each other. "You sure that he could lead an army, Michael?" the general asked.

"I stake my life on it," Merlin said.

The general stared hard at him, "very well then. We will call you back when we've come to a conclusion."

Merlin walked out and sat on a bench, worried about the commander. Arthur sat next to him in silence. Minutes ticked by, than hours. _'Damn commander,' _he thought. A few more minutes passed before the door open.

"The board is ready for you now."

He stood with Arthur and let him walk in first. The commander looked like he was made to swallow something sour.

"We have decided," the woman began, "in accordance with your performance report, that you will be the leader of Platoon 16."

Merlin kept himself from smiling, Platoon 16 was a small group, but it had most of Arthur's former knights in the ranks. He glanced at the commander as Arthur and the General talked over a map. He had a contemplated look on his face that he hid well. _'But not well enough'_.

The board members finished talking to Arthur and they shook hands. Merlin let Arthur walk in front of him, "Michael?" Merlin paused at the commander's voice. He turned to watch him walked up to him. "I hope you will forgive me for my language earlier."

"I took no offense," Merlin said.

"If we are going to work together, I don't want us to start on any bad footing." The man held up a cup, "a toast, to new beginnings."

He felt the others start to pick up their glass while the commander took a large sip before handing it to him. Merlin took the glass and, smiling innocently, took a drink as well. He turned to Arthur and saw him give the glass back to the general. Merlin did the same with the commander and left the room with Arthur.

"The wine was a little too sweet," Arthur whispered to him.

Merlin felt the necklace on his neck heat up, "really?" As they neared a guard, Merlin made a confused face and pulled out the charm. He started to slow down.

"What is it?" he heard Arthur ask.

Merlin hesitated, before turning to the guard. "Someone tried to poison me, others might not be so lucky as to have my trinket. Call the hospital, now!"

The guard glanced at him with a blank face before calling.

Moments later, he watched as the commander's body was taken away. _'The night is full of terrors, old man,'_ Merlin thought as the doors closed, _'but the fire burns them all away.'_

The 'officers' asked them many questions, but ultimately they were let go. Arthur glanced at him in the car but said nothing. Merlin led him back to his room, where Matthias was cleaning the table.

"Had company while we were away?" he asked.

Matthias glanced up, _"I forgot to clean yesterday's mess."_

"And you didn't complain once," Merlin stated, "I'm surprised Arthur. "

"I'd thought he would be finished by now," Arthur said, staring at Matthias.

"Who's the woman?"

Arthur tense slightly, "how do you know it was a woman?"

"I don't think you know any men that wears rouge," Merlin said, picking up the glass and turning it. "Unless there is something you wanted to tell me...?" Arthur gave a mock laugh as Merlin smiled, before grimacing, "you'd make an ugly woman. Your bone structure is all wrong."

Matthias coughed behind them.

"Shut up, Matthias."

"_I said nothing, Arthur."_

"I know that you're not ready to date yet," Merlin interrupted while puzzling at the shade of lipstick. "So, why were you meeting with them at the dead of night?"

"How do you know it was at night?"

"The candles are almost out. It's a waste to use them in the daylight, now isn't it? Still not used to lamps?"

"No."

"_Just tell him, Arthur."_

Merlin tilted his head towards Matthias, "what now?"

Arthur stared hard at Matthias, "it's nothing."

"_It'll be worse if he finds out himself. Or worse, someone else tells him."_

"...you _are_ coming out to me, aren't you?"

Arthur groaned, "no, it's about Mo – "

Merlin turned his head to Arthur after he stopped talking, the glass cracking in his hand. "...are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Arthur was silent as he turned away.

"The witch has visited you?" Merlin asked. "How mad are you?"

"She's changed," Arthur said, "I've seen it in her eyes, Merlin."

He barely felt the glass shatter in his hand. **"Matthias, out!"** The young man wasted no time in scurrying away. Merlin brought a hand to his head, feeling his disguise drip away. "...how stupid are you? She's played this act before!"

"It's not an act, I've seen that it's not – "

"How, in your little glass ball every dead person gets? You've seen how she was, you know how she is!"

"Purgatory cured her – "

"Purgatory doesn't cure people, it's a prison."

"It's a neutral vessel," Arthur told him, "deep down, if someone – "

"Save me this nuance bull. Morgana is a vile, evil witch that I should have killed a long time ago."

"And yet you kept her alive."

"Not for long I'm not," Merlin promised, "squirming her way through my defenses and poisoning your mind, I'll kill her for this."

"Haven't you've done enough to each other?!"

Merlin stared at Arthur's distraught face, "you can't chose, can you?"

"What's there to chose, Camelot is gone and magic is widely accepted. If anything, you are both on the side of reforming the United Kingdom."

"That witch is not on anyone's side but her own!"

Arthur was silent for a moment, his eyes flickering to the table before looking at his face. "You gave her Accolon," Arthur suddenly said. "You could have kept him with you as your prisoner, but you gave him to her. Why?"

Merlin looked away, staring at the wall. "Do you really want to know?"

"I know you, Merlin. Giving her Accolon at first might have been reasonable, but you could have took him back in the last century for insurance, but you didn't. I want to know why."

He sighed, "...I wanted her...to know what it's like to love someone," Merlin told Arthur. "When she'd close her eyes she'd see his face...I wanted that for her. I wanted her to know what's it like to love someone, to truly love someone, before I took him from her."

"...oh God..." Merlin glanced at Arthur's face and felt his heart be torn from his chest. He swallowed, and watched as Arthur turned from him and collapse in a chair. "I...to actually hear it from your own mouth..."

Merlin closed his eyes for a moment, then stared hard at Arthur, "can't handle our petty war? Then you won't be able to handle ruling in this world. This isn't Camelot, where you can trust the word of a knight without a shadow of a doubt...you have to get your hands dirty, or if not yours, than others...do you wish to change that, Arthur?"

He turned his head to stare at him with red hollow eyes, "of course I do."

"Then trust my guidance – "

"I should only trust you? You and only you?"

"If you wish to rule, yes, because this is what ruling in the world will be. Laying on a bed of weeds and ripping them out, by the root, one by one, before they strangle you in your sleep!"

Arthur turned away again, "...but this isn't about ruling. This is vengeance, Merlin. Pure, spiteful vengeance."

"I've always found that to be the purest of motivations..." Merlin watched Arthur run a hand over his face.

Merlin waited a moment before moving closer. He moved to the other side of the table and stared down at Arthur. His fist was curled on the side of his mouth, and he stared ahead at nothing as he thought. Merlin formed a chair and sat near him, resting his arm on the table. He heard his worried heart beat in the silence as he waited.

"You've..." Arthur started before clearing his throat. "...you've killed thousands, for Albion...for me..."

"...I would kill them again," Merlin told Arthur, "and a thousand more, if need be. I would kill them all." A thought formed in his head as he stared at the shaken former king. Merlin reached out and turned his head so he could see his eyes, "Morgana, your resurrected father, every single person on this Earth until only you and I remained."

Tremors reached his fingertips, but Arthur moved his head and they stopped. "...you would..."

Merlin nodded while dropping his hand. "...I shouldn't fight with you so much. Here I am, fighting to change you when you are perfect the way you are. Only one of us needs to travel in the shadows. But you," Merlin smiled at him, "you are a savior in golden armor..."

Arthur stared at him, "...you're similar to how she was before..."

Merlin felt his face twist before he collected himself, "the witch was built from hate. A broken thing that should have been put out of her misery a long time ago."

"And what are you?"

Merlin stared into his eyes, his face frozen. "...you'll be glad of the hateful things I do, when I'm all that stands between you and your beloved sister."

Merlin stood up and started to walk, pausing when Arthur grabbed his arm. "Merlin...I don't know how to fix you..."

"Don't," Merlin told him. "Use me to defeat your enemies, and to keep you alive."

"Who?" Arthur asked with a shaking voice. "Who do you think our enemies are?"

Merlin looked at him before kneeling to him. He took Arthur's clenched hands into his own, "anyone who isn't us, is an enemy."

Arthur swallowed, looking away from him. Merlin sighed, and started to stand, but Arthur quickly gripped his hands tight. Merlin paused before slowly landing on his knees. Minutes passed in silence.

"...this is awkward..."

"...not my greatest plan."

"One of your many, not great plans."

Merlin gave a short laugh at Arthur's indignant look. "Oh I missed you," he whispered to himself.

"...I missed you too."

Merlin swallowed as he gripped his hands tighter, "you're warm...you were so cold before..." He felt Arthur shift in front of him. "In my dreams, I killed them every night. But with each sunrise, you stayed dead...I couldn't handle it. I wanted to be with you, all of you, for so long, but I'm...I can't die until all magic in the world is dead. I can never..."

"...do you have anything else to do today?"

"...no...why?"

Arthur said nothing as he stood up, pulling him with him. "You'll sleeping tonight."

Merlin tugged his arms, "I just thought of something that I have to do..."

"Merlin, change your clothes, lay on the bed, and shut up."

"Arthur...you know you make me tingly when you take control like that. " He smiled wide at Arthur's annoyed face. Merlin slipped out of his grasp, "don't worry, I'll be back after changing. Then we can braid each others' hair and talk about what boys we like – "

"Forget it! Just – forget it!"

Merlin couldn't help himself, his heart felt free for the first time in years. He spread his arms and opened his palms, "so...we can't hug it out?"

Arthur stared hard, before charging at him like a bull. Merlin turned to run, but felt Arthur's arm curl around his neck. Unbalanced, he fell back into Arthur, who fell to the floor. He heard Arthur groan underneath him as he got up.

"Thanks for cushioning my fall," he told Arthur as he ran out the room.

"_MERLIN!"_

He almost skipped into his own room. As he promised, he changed into pajamas before going back to Arthur's room.

_'I almost lost you,'_ Merlin thought as he split the bed in half. He laid on the right bed as Arthur laid on the left. _'But it won't happen_ _again,'_ he thought as he gave a wide smile at Arthur before turning around. He curled his arm up and took the blood gem that was against his chest, feeling it beat in his fingers. He dug his thumb nail into it, feeling it spasm in pain. After a moment, he let go and put the gem back into his shirt.

He listened to Arthur's soft snores as his eyes grew heavy, _'if she doesn't get the message this time, I'll torch her soul. Matthias is almost ready anyway.'_

*** ~ "Only a few find the way. Some don't recognize it when they do. Some, don't ever want to." – _American McGee's Alice: Madness Returns_ ~ ***

This is the end...hold your breath and count to ten...No I'm not singing Adele's Skyfall...*hmph*

Joking aside, yes, this is over. I will leave it to any readers to think of how it would end. I know how I want to end it, but I know that people are never satisfied with endings (just look at this website) so y'all can think of however you want it to end. Morgana and Merlin living happily ever after, perhaps (the majority of you are smiling as you read this)? Morgana having a child with Accolon, and that child being used by Merlin in his power play (majority are going "NO!")?

**Fact** **# 1**– I made this story with the use of quotes. Seriously, I had to use quotes to help me make this. It would explain why it was so bad, right?

**Fact that might depress the majority of my viewers** – I was going to kill Morgana in this one. I had it planned out all in my head. Merlin was going to go to the shoreline and meet with Morgana. They would talk, and it would end like this:

{ "Was there ever a time," Morgana asked him, "ever for a moment..."

Merlin looked at her red eyes. He picked up his hand and placed it on her cheek, wiping the falling tears from her eye. She looked at him with quivering eyes. She started to lean forward with hesitation, he let her. He moved his head so her hair wouldn't be sucked in his nose as he breathed. He closed his eyes as he gripped tightly.

"A moment...but I can't take that chance," he said, stabbing her in the heart. He held her as she slowly died, then retrieved his dagger and picked her body up. He turned and walked waist deep into the waters before letting her go, watching her sink beneath the still waters.}

Now, imagine if put complete effort into this...I imagine boxes of kittens and puppies might not be enough for those who love Mergana.

**Fact # 2 **– I wanted to put this quote somewhere in here: *** ~ "I wanted to tell her everything, maybe if I'd been able to, we could have lived differently, maybe I'd be there with you now instead of here. Maybe...if I'd said,**_** 'I'm so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything,'**_** maybe that would have made the impossible possible. Maybe, but I couldn't do it, I had buried too much too deeply inside me. And here I am, instead of there." – Jonathan Safran Foer ~ ***

Hmm...

**Time for me to babble!**

So, anything y'all want me to write now? Or y'all just want pairings?

Fandoms I know well enough about (or can get from my bookcase): Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings + The Hobbit, Game of Thrones (1 – 2) + A Song of Ice & Fire (books 1 – 3), Merlin.

As for pairings: I'm fine with just about anything for Harry Potter (even though some of the canon pairings just makes me go " *smackshead* ugh, long lasting relationships don't work like that! _Love_ doesn't work like that!", so from Hetero to Homo I'm cool with (Harry/Hermione, Tom Riddle Jr./Harry, etc.). Lord of the Rings + The Hobbit tots cool too (Damn you Nostalgia chick, now I love Eowyn/Merry); Game of Thrones, go crazy! Same with Ice & Fire and Merlin (Gwaine/Apple OTP).

Crossovers are my happy place. Here are some things I am either waiting to see made or wrapping my head around:

(HP+GoT/I&F) **Potter/Baratheon family** – Potter family either cousin or bastard line made royal and they reside somewhere in the North; **Tom Riddle Jr.** – Bastard that rose to becoming Lord by any means necessary (basically Petyr Baelish, but...maybe the prostitution ring); **Weasleys** – Sailors/Ironborn (What Is Dead May Never Die)

(M+GoT/I&F) **Dragonlords **– the Kings and Lords beyond the wall. With their dragons, they kept the White Walkers (Others to those in the South) at bay; **Merlin/Dany** – Perhaps after Arthur's death, or Court Sorcerer, he crosses the narrow seas and becomes an adviser to Dany or something (suck at explaining) Point is, I could see Merlin being a proper older brother to her. **Mordred in the North** – either beyond the wall as a wildling or gets adopted by the kindhearted Lord Stark. Ooh, or an Ironborn! (Mordred, captain of the Sea – erm, that might be too strong for T...) **Jon/Mordred** – both had their father's head chopped off and never knew their mother (I'm guessing for Mordred, otherwise why would he bond so well with Morgana). Mordred could be Jon's friend beyond the wall while Sam is at the Wall (or lover if that's your kind of ship).

**For those that Love to vid!**

I don't have proper clips on hand to make this. I wished I could make a video for this story, but in Modern setting and focusing on Merlin before Arthur wakes up. Like, what he has done leading up to that point. I wanted to use _Serial Killer_ by _Lana Del Rey_ but condensed into 3 minutes or less. If someone does do this, I'll be grateful and do whatever they want me to...as long as it's reasonable (I'm not going to the moon and bringing you a large moon rock).

Also, having Arthur and Merlin as either two sides of the same coins or Merlin just obsessed with Arthur is up to you (I think, though, if anyone does this they'll do Obsessed/madly in love Merlin, cause what's the fun with just a broken Merlin? Make him a sociopath with layers like an onion).


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